09-13-2013, 04:07 AM | #1 |
Steel Cut
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A Swede, Samoan and Russian Walk Into a Bar
there's a place silently sitting at the edge of Inferno
where the only straight line is through the bend of a wormhole discrepancies manifest from what you thought was internal exposing sins you keep hidden like the pop of a kernel enter: 3 strangers from improbable corners men of a hardened disposition, each honest as mortar they harbor no apologies for the pawns of their scorn, but in a place that takes no prisoners they gotta bond for its quarter as they fall into order, they see the symmetry of vultures streaks of Mars flit the sky releasing odors of sulfur frozen as sculptures, confused they each hold to their culture in hopes to ward off ghosts from this soulless sepulcher the scavengers scatter suddenly in a smoldering rush revealing a building underneath 'em, doors opening up and soaking in rust, these 3 men - a Swede, Samoan and Russian all walk into the bar...during Dystopian Dusk inside reeked of erosional musk, seats cold to the touch the men weren't saying much, still withholding their trust in the corner of their corneas they notice a crutch -the bartender enters looking older than dust a gross limping mut, folded and hunched his shoulders were slumped, stuck like the fucker bore the load of a truck this shivering, sniveling, grotesque little runt brittle, pale, skinny, frail...like he never ate a vegetable once when he spoke he soaked them in cusses, releasing spit in a maelstrom each tooth looking like Zeus had pissed on a hailstone he stepped to the counter with a presumptuous snicker polished 3 mugs and a pitcher and mumbled "wuhcanna gitcha?" such a puzzling picture, but still awfully clear stunned silence - he gets them vodka, vodka and beer coughing, he smears saliva in the shots that he poured and the lager of course... mucus dripping out his nostrils as he snarls and jeers, "none a ya belong here but I'm not whatchu fear, it's hard to, believe me with my awkward appearance I see yer scoffs n' yer leers, but the hard truth is that whatcher most afraid of sits on top of these barstools." the bartender backs away, the results will be epic the Russian slams his shot, frustrated: "I don't get it." they sat through another vacuum, the tension electric until the Swede turned to his right and finally said it, "that's because this isn't Tetris, I hope you're just acting dull if not then fuck you and your curly-coned capitol." the Russian yells at the Swede, drunk stumblin, "he's a bitch!" and doles a thunderous pummeling till he's the color of Swedish Fish "How's that concoction, Swedish Chef? Now who's talkin?! Who wants next? Is it you, Dwayne 'The Blob' Johnson?" the huge-skulled Sole chugs his mug until he reaches its churlish end "better watch your tooth hole, uso, or you'll never say a word again... ...or be able to chew your food whole." the vultures start circling, cheering in elegies the two pugilists clench their fists - fearlessly, readily but remember, never make Samoans your enemies, especially one that comes from a drunken pedigree. or one that lacks the integrity not to package you medically you might handle him mentally... but that's irrelevant when he settles to slam your back to a melody and that's exactly what happened, he smashed his ass through the carpet but the vultures got the last laugh when they devoured the carcass no debate, the truth of who was stronger is known but it was a useless ruse - now he must wander alone go ahead, ponder a moment, and ponder it well were they sauntering purgatory, or a model of hell? ...or Earth? your worth isn't measured by how your arteries swell; you won't defeat the sound of silence just by starting to yell these cancerous cells told 'em they couldn't handle each other but the truth lies (beneath vanity's rubble) cuz the actual trouble was that they couldn't handle themselves
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09-14-2013, 04:07 PM | #2 |
White Earl
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This fucking piece is retarded dope. People need to stop hiding from length when it holds this kind of quality
Loved this section. It was crazy! a gross limping mut,folded and hunched his shoulders were slumped, stuck like the fucker bore the load of a truck this shivering,sniveling,grotesquelittlerunt brittle, pale, skinny, frail...like he never ate a vegetable once when he spoke he soaked them in cusses, releasing spit in a maelstrom each tooth looking like Zeus had pissed on a hailstone he stepped to the counter with a presumptuous snicker polished 3 mugsand a pitcher and mumbled"wuhcanna gitcha?" Up. Sick drop oats
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09-14-2013, 05:04 PM | #3 |
Leave you flatlined.
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as they fall into order, they see the symmetry of vultures
streaks of Mars flit the sky releasing odors of sulfur frozen as sculptures, confused they each hold to their culture in hopes to ward off ghosts from this soulless sepulcher the scavengers scatter suddenly in a smoldering rush revealing a building underneath 'em, doors opening up and soaking in rust, these 3 men - a Swede, Samoan and Russian all walk into the bar...during Dystopian Dusk Fire intro.. love the alliteration in scavengers line brittle, pale, skinny, frail...like he never ate a vegetable once lol such a puzzling picture, but still awfully clear stunned silence - he gets them vodka, vodka and beer This was a different piece. I don't know where you all get these ideas from but I love the creativity. I had to read this twice to fully get the concept.. Nice read. The rhyming was good, nothing really forced as far as rhyme wise.. I still don't understand it all or whats the epiphany but I'm sure if I really read into it I would get it.. |
09-17-2013, 01:10 AM | #4 |
SYRACUSE
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I been reading zen koans lately so I got the message real quick like...praise be to the FUCKING BUDDHA
Strong as usual 8.8/10 |
09-17-2013, 02:36 AM | #5 |
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I actually thought this was about Pent, 3pa and Paytience lol. Cool shit man. Lots of original rhymes.
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10-04-2013, 10:03 PM | #7 |
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lol...up from the graveyar. I haven't read it.
But the title means it's getting upped.
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10-04-2013, 10:03 PM | #8 |
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lol...who dat?
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"When God didn't like what He created, He washed all away in 40 days and 40 nights. I will do it in three..." -Max Eisenhart |
10-04-2013, 10:07 PM | #9 |
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Just read...you're getting feed later oats. lol. This was amusing as HELL to me.
Long time. How ya been?
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"When God didn't like what He created, He washed all away in 40 days and 40 nights. I will do it in three..." -Max Eisenhart |
10-08-2013, 03:44 PM | #10 | |
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Quote:
couldnt agree with Geno more. loved this verse. Oats do you still have that collab we did before I was banned? let a brother know! nice reading your shit again. |
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10-08-2013, 09:17 PM | #11 |
rhyme capsule.
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WHY THE EPIC VERSES, BRO?
jk i tend to log on and look through my post history (because i'm a bit of a narcissist) so this is a legit bookmark and i will feed this shit. believe it. |
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