need to ask something

namix · 02-17-2013, 03:10 PM

@Genocide @Utmost @Anonymous @Jah Homie @Cashius

what did you guys think about the example verses from the other team captains? (well shit, feel free to put me on the chopping block too - that was my 4th battle on RM in '03 though lol)

still trying to get a sense for "taste" these days....

what i WILL say is that I was impressed with GoW's verse --- that is timeless writing my friends - that style's been around since i started and it will be around as long as the art form is.

Geno and anyone else i alluded to the concept of "conceptual expansion" on --- GoW's opener in the example verse is a GREAT example:

"your such an old timer, you prolly go ding when you wind down at night"
^bwahaha - comedy.

so peep it - where a lot of heads would appreciate the fact they have decent wordplay to work with "old timer", they would say like "your such an old timer that my pocket watch makes you look out dated" (or something like that)

What GoW did is EXACTLY what i'm getting at...

He did this through TWO steps:
1- honed in on a very specific, detailed characteristic of an "old timer" ("going ding")
2- provided a modest, but meaningful, extra layer of complexity with "wind down at night"

the FIRST gives the reader an awesome 'connection', even nostalgia, as it also ensures that the concept 'becomes its own' --- that it is always unique in its own right... somewhere out there SOMEONE has said an "old timer" play before, but it's very unlikely, because of #1 above, that it was executed quite like this.

the SECOND adds the cherry on the shit-on-you-sundae with the extra pinch of creativity and complexity which really makes the line stand out.... it paints a picture of an old man winding down at the end of the day, yet the wordplay ALSO supports the OTHER wordplay -- since all 'timers' wind down.

The combination of the two, form a GREAT example of "conceptual expansion" -- where you can start with something somewhat simple -- make it "connect" with the audience, then make it really "resonate" with the additional level of complexity.. those two combined turn a "good" concept into an "amazing" quotable. and when they combine, the impact of each 'step' is made exponentially better.

it's good to talk about 'breadth' of writing - but sometimes honing in on one specific punch that works can be the most meaningful way for us to dissect the art itself.

you guys smell what i'm stepping in there?

(another tangent - but word - interested in the original ask too haha - thoughts on the other drops?)

Sn00p · 02-17-2013, 04:28 PM

Well, yours was chosen for the wordplay. GoW's was overall good, same with nik's. Orc's highlights the effect of personals in verses. Just some starting points for y'all.

namix · 02-18-2013, 02:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sn00p

Well, yours was chosen for the wordplay. GoW's was overall good, same with nik's. Orc's highlights the effect of personals in verses. Just some starting points for y'all.

no doubt, GoW's was great, Orc's was super personal.

and now that i gave Nik's another read, there are some solid punches in there... GoW was real consistent in his though.

good well-rounded examples snoop

02-17-2013, 03:10 PM	#1
namix been that, done there. Join Date: Jun 2001 Posts: 2,260 Battle Record: 2-1 Accomplishments - OM HOF Rep Power: 85246652	need to ask something @Genocide @Utmost @Anonymous @Jah Homie @Cashius what did you guys think about the example verses from the other team captains? (well shit, feel free to put me on the chopping block too - that was my 4th battle on RM in '03 though lol) still trying to get a sense for "taste" these days.... what i WILL say is that I was impressed with GoW's verse --- that is timeless writing my friends - that style's been around since i started and it will be around as long as the art form is. Geno and anyone else i alluded to the concept of "conceptual expansion" on --- GoW's opener in the example verse is a GREAT example: "your such an old timer, you prolly go ding when you wind down at night" ^bwahaha - comedy. so peep it - where a lot of heads would appreciate the fact they have decent wordplay to work with "old timer", they would say like "your such an old timer that my pocket watch makes you look out dated" (or something like that) What GoW did is EXACTLY what i'm getting at... He did this through TWO steps: 1- honed in on a very specific, detailed characteristic of an "old timer" ("going ding") 2- provided a modest, but meaningful, extra layer of complexity with "wind down at night" the FIRST gives the reader an awesome 'connection', even nostalgia, as it also ensures that the concept 'becomes its own' --- that it is always unique in its own right... somewhere out there SOMEONE has said an "old timer" play before, but it's very unlikely, because of #1 above, that it was executed quite like this. the SECOND adds the cherry on the shit-on-you-sundae with the extra pinch of creativity and complexity which really makes the line stand out.... it paints a picture of an old man winding down at the end of the day, yet the wordplay ALSO supports the OTHER wordplay -- since all 'timers' wind down. The combination of the two, form a GREAT example of "conceptual expansion" -- where you can start with something somewhat simple -- make it "connect" with the audience, then make it really "resonate" with the additional level of complexity.. those two combined turn a "good" concept into an "amazing" quotable. and when they combine, the impact of each 'step' is made exponentially better. it's good to talk about 'breadth' of writing - but sometimes honing in on one specific punch that works can be the most meaningful way for us to dissect the art itself. you guys smell what i'm stepping in there? (another tangent - but word - interested in the original ask too haha - thoughts on the other drops?)

02-17-2013, 04:28 PM	#2
Sn00p General German Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 1,989 Battle Record: 26-12 Champed - Netcees Battle League (2x) - Line4Line Cypher Tourney - Back2Basics - Fight Night XLVI Rep Power: 15213749	Well, yours was chosen for the wordplay. GoW's was overall good, same with nik's. Orc's highlights the effect of personals in verses. Just some starting points for y'all.