NBL Week 1 Magazine: The Last Stand

[Zuo]

NBL Week 1 Mag: The Last Stand

We did it. We survived. We outlasted the miserable past few months of Eviction posting the worst possible shit ever. Fuckin parasite damn near took the last breath out of this sites lungs. Thank you to whoever banned the fuckin retard.

…so….


Where will YOU be during text’s last stand..?

The Survivors

Zuo

We welcome back the worlds greatest living moderator, here yet again to save both text and humanity at the same time. He’ll be mostly filling in as substitutes or to break up 3-way battles, but he is essential to life. Breathe him.

Adverse

Here’s another great moderator, once known to man as a topical writer for man poems, but has now entered the realm of text. Adverse has written some dope material and has surprised a lot of folks during his textual tenure. We look forward to him dropping on time every single week, and never post late or no show. He will vote on every single battle and provide proof. Adverse is essential to the survival of text, welcome!

Blue Bayou

A textual legend who has beaten many a name and has dropped many a wordplay. Also known as “the good twin”, he is the better version of what Barcotic wishes he was. Bluenose better than to no show my league, I believe he will continue to thrive in text for as long as he lives, this is his life! A former champion in the NBL, he will continue on to champ this league plenty of times. We will see if he can handle his week one opponent. Welcome!

DynamiCz

One of the original gun bar boys, insanely dope and always has some of the most creative content on the net. Having gotten tired of NC voters, he took to the slums of Twitter battling and left this place behind. I too, was there in the ERBL but was banned for saying the godforsaken N word. It was probably for the best. I’m hoping this dude actually shows for his battle, because that would definitely be a treat to see. Welcome!

Mac

One of the most reliable dudes in text right now, and one of the most elevated I’ve seen in years. Mac was improved greatly on his punches and has beaten big names such as myself, that’s big. I’m really glad Mac signed in, it gives me hope that this place still has a sliver of life left in the tank. Look for Mac to win most of his battles, but I believe his biggest challenge will be beating dudes like Dominate and Saint. Welcome!

Unfukwitable

Another one of the most creative dudes in text right now, I’ve seen some of the best bars come out of this dudes keyboard. Known for no showing, I hope that isn’t the case - this isn’t RB, netcees deserves some appreciation. That being said, I think Unfuk can go on to champ this thing for sure, he definitely has the talent and material to beat just about anyone. Welcome!

Saint

Alright, no lie - this guy has been one of my favorite battlers as of late. He’s been killing it in the 1-2 Punch League on RB, however, some of his lines are getting slept on smh. I think Inf is usually either hit or miss. Sometimes he’s one of the dopest to ever do it, and sometimes I have no idea what he’s talking about. I definitely think he can champ this whole league no doubt, we’ll just have to wait and see. Welcome!

Ryno

My good friend and fellow shipmate, Ryno. Ryno is a very consistent battler, always sprinkling in a mixture of wordplay, gun lines, and personals. In other words, he’s a very well rounded battler. Sometimes the concepts can be a bit underwhelming, but overall he’s a firm 8.3/10. Look for Ryno to skip the lines into contending for a champ match, he’s been hungry lately and RB hasn’t been feeding him correctly. Don’t worry, we’ll change that. Welcome!

Dominate

One of the biggest names to never be crowned a legend on netcees, why? I’m not sure exactly, he’s done more than enough to be put in all types of HoF’s, drops some of the best overall lines known to man, and doesn’t have a family of his own. This guy deserves it all. I hope he shows up on a weekly basis, he’s definitely my guess for the leagues first champ. Welcome!

Kill Spree

I never know whether to love or hate this guy, he definitely sacrifices his all in the name of text, and that’s something I can always appreciate. He does get fed up with having to do mod work, and doesn’t quite trust me with it for some odd reason. I want to formally apologize for the LLL Season I ran, I went to Miami for Christmas break and let women/cocaine get the best of me. Now when it comes to battling, Spree has worked his way up the ranks in all leagues. I must say, I am impressed on how he’s elevated throughout the years, and he continues to shine. Kill Spree has what it takes to champ this, I just want to see his bars worded better. Welcome!

R!canTheoryz

My guess is this guy probably won’t show up but it’s ok, he’s up against another guy who I suspect won’t show. If we can get past that, Rican is a crowd favorite and is a legend in his own world. He has some nice material tucked away and has even gone professional in live battling. I’d really like to see him go far in this league, please don’t let me down bro. Welcome!

Cereal

My brother Cereal. I love this guy. Ever since he let me interview him for the NBL and even made me an audio portion of the mag, he’s been one of my favorite people to grace the site. I can usually trust on him to show up for battles and to vote. He needs to elevate his textual craft a bit, but he’s well on his way. He was able to become a topical champion, so I think he should be able to make things happen in this years NBL. Welcome!

Master Rock

To be brutally honest, I don’t know too much about this dude. I’m beyond thankful that he signed into the league and is willing to participate each week. Thank you for not having a family. I know he’s a mastermind topical writer, let’s just see if he can translate his lines into punches and knock some people out. I wish you nothing but the best in this league man. Welcome!

Pharaohs Army

Lol, I’m almost positive this is a Lars alias but I’ll give it a go. Pharaoh is a strange creature but I have to pay respects for him always showing up on time and voting on battles. I’ll definitely take some activity like that over people not showing up for their shit. Id like to see pharaoh elevate his bars and maybe cut down the rambling a bit. He’s a good dude with mad potential, he’s just a tad bit psychotic. Welcome!

Incredible

I hope you show bro. Incredible has been around for a while now and I hope this random appearance is worthwhile. Inc has a great track record of modding and showing up to his battles, I’ve got some faith that he will continue to do exactly that. When it comes to text, he has greatly improved over the years and it shows whenever he’s motivated. I hope you can one day forgive Flo for taking your family from you. I know it’s not easy, but thank you for signing in and thank you for not having a family. Welcome!

Diablo

Lars is a beast in all realms of writing. That’s basically the best way I can summarize it. He’s going to go far in this league and beat a lot of other battlers who are signed in. If he can focus on making his punches hard hitting rather than topically, I think he’s in for some madness. Welcome!

Defiant

My man Defiant, thank you for signing in and helping this league get started. I hope you’re able to find some time to post a verse and vote on battles. I’ve seen some really good material from Defiant and he def has the potential to make it far in this league. I’m looking forward to reading what he posts.

Cred

The gun bar king. The knife bar king. One of the most fire text battlers still doing it right now. We’ve been waiting for this dude to make a comeback, and what better time than right now. I’m praying to our dear god, lord and savior Jesus Christ almighty mother Mary, everyone, that Cred shows up to the battle. Let’s make this thing happen legend. Welcome!

Week 1 Predictions

Week 1: Zuo vs. Cereal

Cereal, let me be Frank with you. I’m going to beat your ass in this battle bro. I mean, of course there’s a chance you win but I don’t think that’s going to happen this week. I’m gonna go off a limb and say I take it this week. Zuo 95/5

Week 1: Blue Bayou vs. Incredible

This has potential to be a blockbuster, I like Blue Bayou a lot and when it comes to battling people without families, nobody does it better. Incredible has potential to make a dent in this league, but I don’t think it’ll be necessarily done in this battle. Blue Bayou 80/20

Week 1: Unfukwitable vs. Defiant

This can be a dope battle if both dudes show up. Unfuk has been making moves in the LLL and dropping some hot lines. Defiant is usually good, but I haven’t seen him drop anything in quite some time. If I have to pick one, I’m going with Unfuk based off of what I’ve seen lately. Unfukwitable 60/40

Week 1: Diablo vs. Pharaohs Army

This is gonna be a really fun battle to watch unfold lol, both guys are literally insane and will probably go back and forth bitching at each other. But when it comes to talent, I think Diablo is going to take it this time around. Diablo 65/35

Week 1: Saint vs. Mac

This is going to be a good battle; Saint has been on a streak lately and Mac is hungrier than I’ve ever seen him. It could honestly go either way but based off of tenure I have Saint taking it this week. Saint 60/40

Week 1: Ryno vs. Master Rock

Like I’ve stated, I don’t recall seeing Master Rock in a text battle before, so I’m not sure where his talent currently lays. Ryno is a good battler and should take this one pretty convincingly as far as I’m concerned. Ryno 70/30

Week 1: Kill Spree vs. Cred

A contender for BOTW right here, no lies. Spree has all the concepts and personals as anyone else here and if he forms them into well worded bars, he can take this. Cred is a crowd favorite and if he shows, he might be taking it. Could go either way but I have Cred. Cred 55/45

Week 1: Dominate vs. Adverse

I really look forward to this battle, both guys can definitely put out some dope material, one more than the other, but it should still br a fun battle to read. If I’m going off of talent, it’ll be Dominate this time around. Dominate 60/40

Week 1: DynamiCz vs. R!canTheoryz

During the age of gun bars back in like 2016ish, DynamiCz was one of my favorite battlers to read. Rican, during live performances, was one of the most exciting to watch. Who will win? My guess is whoever actually shows up. These two got paired for that reason. If I have to choose one, it’s D. DynamiCz 55/45

Outro

Alright folks, not much more else to say for an intro mag but I hope it’s enough to get you people to show up to your battles this week. Let’s make this season a dope one and give the fans some stuff to remember. We’re in this together, let’s save text. Also give me a chance to post, I’m running on California time now.