Tag Team IV Magazine (Pre-Tourney)

[Paradigm]

Tag Team IV

www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-S5D8V5FkE

Welcome to the Tag Team Tournament IV! The sign ups went up and right from the get go the talent level in this tourney sky rocketed. Hype was generated, hearts were broken and beefs were made just by the process of picking a partner. There are a lot of good teams and even Aero got Dominate to come out of his cryogenic state to defend their tournament titles. There are topicalists duos taking time away from their campfires. Finalists Hush and Orc have parted ways and found new partners. Bags and ill nik-A have returned along with a lot of other dope battlers coming together to try and claim the tag team titles. Enjoy the tournament and good luck to everyone!

[Paradigm]

Tag Team III Highlights

The Finals

(Hush and Orc No Showed in the Actual Finals)

Originally Posted by Bags

Smh.

Oh my. How u gon be racist yet SO blind?
up an foward thinker? A free spirit? HOW? Ur still a slave in ur OWN mind.
Slaves!? He never worked a day w/out paymnt, bros.
Cmon fam save it yo. this black retards just another stereotype.....RADIO
B its just tragic, u gon take over Wall St speakin all ratchet?
Them cheap plans u got in stockbroker then ur delusions of bein one faggit
An u half white!! But dom as a teacher is unforgivable tho...
This faggit Molding the minds of our future... w/the clay spindle from Ghost
Talm bout my boo meringue? She cook an bang me so well
His boomerang? Well.. its a frisbee for faggits who like to play w/themselves.
These lame dudes weaker. what a strange pool featured...
R we really battlin a mullato daytrader & an australian gradeschool teacher!?!
The goat teamed up with Dom cuz his shit’s weak with nonsense
Aero’s so desperate he had to go to the land down under to dig up some decent concepts
u swear u into the stock exchange but I can trick clowns & ditch
u have no idea what a low ball offer is… so I secretly teabagged the shit out ur bitch
& now Dom’s poor displays is supposed to help a friend in fear?
u aint showing signs of hope… u just went from will work for food to the end is near
some live vicariously through others & Aero needs a lotta help to gloat
ur only accomplishment is a site diss I inspired… now I know why u call urself the goat
u tell & hope Dom doesnt drink cuz ur black dad did a smash & through
if Foster’s Australian for Beer… in America it’s an adoption center when ur white side abandons u
think u have a strong relationship & we don’t have what it takes to beat
But mediocre is all we have to ‘be, see’… since that’s the only thing that comes between A&D

Originally Posted by Aero

*ahem*

ayo Bags aka Jim Blaze,


I took photos of your girl w/ her dildo, shit got embarrassing quick
way she used rabbit ears behind your back it made for hilarious pics
Hoe was eaaager to slob nuts, Unzipped my pants & removed my buckle
She had a ball out before her knee was down, that shit was ruled a fumble
& dawg, ya partner’s nonsense. Vet his bars ‘fore it thwarts ya prospects
Fuck a surname.. I wanna see Anthony Colavito on Nika's retarded concepts
That kid was a BITCH in the Elements after Cake left his wack lines slumped
Soon as ppl started voting for Pansy ran to discussion to sway shit & act like one
Plus I bodied ‘em in SC, & him being a salty faggot had me quite enthralled
Nik got a chip on his shoulder & not just the tracking device his wife installed
And faggot you're not a citizen you don't have to fake or pretend
I mean... your idea of civic duty's piling into one with eight of your friends
& ur house is worth nothing. You've been in a shitheap the longest son
If that Padded Cell for any srs money it’d be to someone who belongs in one
You're too old so just lie down and die now. This shit’s a wipe out, ether
Firing shots that'll leave ur life on the rocks like retiring lighthouse keepers
& Bags you aint no gym rat. Maybe yoga class & a couple of tame squats
Hardest Resistance Training u ever did was slapping urself for having gay thoughts
U’d get Muscle Aches from 1 pound weights. I bet you favour pilates more
We can trade punches or u can lift those^, either way DOMS will leave ya body sore
As admin you made mistakes like clockwork, waaayyy too easy to heckle
If we want to see Jim Gaffigan we don’t have to watch the comedian's special
No relieving the pressure, easiest effort while you two could use the practice
What's worse?
That you battle each other in Elements tourney or that it's in the Loser's bracket?

ouch.

Top Punchlines

Originally Posted by Aero

Step & be served. No question Aero & Dom'll sever these herbs
‘specially when Karaoke lives up to his name & Drops the Ball on Every Word
Kare's mom is the sluttiest bitch with no class and a peasant
Introducing that Horticulture's like doing that to nomads in the desert

Originally Posted by Neighbor

& Phuck's mom got it in every hole.. that skank's a MILF
My team was shootin 3:10's to Yuma & we ain't even runnin a train on film

Originally Posted by Orc

Orc is like Ricky Bobby & Hush is Kenny Powers
we leaving Franco between a rock & a hard place. shits looking like 127 hours

Originally Posted by TheEnd

Put the gun to his brim, u aint slagin dope son this problem is fix
Nigga that fire shit come in ounces, halfs, 7’s, 3.5’s, dubs, but NEVER in niks

Originally Posted by Bags

See my cronies in a brawl? U gettin raped, homie aint no pause
Theyd rip the end off an bang em on a table.....like they was openin a straw

Originally Posted by Bags

We got them poems locked kid. Topical? No prob bitch.
Cuz Ud still lose the tournament in ya own realm on sum shoa kahn shit

Originally Posted by Diode

and lets b honest Alvin, ya girl John Redcorn’d ya ass for financial profits
but new packages against her redskin allows more penetration than Chip Kelly’s offense

Originally Posted by Neighbor/Allen Knight

Let's talk about tiers.. I got punches that'd tear your lungs
Personals? Funny, you fags're barely a Mid Top shoe-in whenever Aer force one
Saw you postin 'bout penny stocks.. the fuck you talkin about?!
Ya idea of a high-risk share's 69'ing Dom on the couch w/ his cock in your mouth

Originally Posted by Aero/Dominate

Had your chick gobbling dick in a Mosque, shit was a dire decision
Fam the way her head scarfs down she offended an entire religion
& when she wakes up next to me, she faces a view of Tropical Gardens
If your girl wakes up & face palms it’s cuz ur ugly minus vodka & darkness

[Paradigm]

Introductions

(By Certain)

1. Advanced Placement - Aero and Dominate
They're the top seed because they won a tournament that actually went pretty decently until the finals, when Orc and Hush decided against showing. Aero has good generic concepts and wording, but Dominate widely is regarded as the breadwinner here for good reason. They seemed to play off each other well, though.

2. Milk Chocolate - Orc and Karaoke
I don't know what the chances of getting both these guys to show and care throughout the tournament is, but they probably are the best team in terms of individual talent. Orc's a Hall of Famer for a reason, and Karaoke was the absolute dominant force in the last Netcees Battle League season before losing in the title match. But their styles are very different, which is worth watching.

3. Nik Bags - ill nik-A and Bags
Bags is on vacation in Mexico, and ill nik-A is threatening never to come back. So who knows? Bags might have the harshest style on the site because of his wording, while ill nik-A has been throwing out fresh concepts for more than a decade on a consistent basis. Their styles are different but actually complement each other. This team is strong.

4. Audi Boys - Hush and Allen Knight
I've read some of Hush's old battles. He was really, really good, one of the funniest around. Now? I don't think I've seen him try once on this version of Netcees, and Orc claims he had to carry their team to the finals last time. Allen Knight has concepts for days but seems to type with his elbows. This team has great potential that likely will go unrealized.

5. Name Pending - murda sho and Alvin Karpis
These two should pair really well. murda sho has impressed in the Summer Classic, and Alvin Karpis is probably the most established battler on this version of Netcees. They had a good battle in the Summer Classic, and murda sho seems to have at least one show-stopping line in each of his verses. Alvin Karpis could bring even more out of him.

6. Hot Dog with Mustswerve - hotdogvendorman and Swerve
I came up with that name. It's terrible. They shouldn't use it. hotdogvendorman used to be one of the best, but he probably won't show and will force Swerve to write the whole verse. Swerve is pretty good but not elite from what I've seen. Even if hotdogvendorman doesn't disappoint, will he be rusty? This team is good but seems primed for an upset loss.

7. Alpha Omega - Beyond and Paradigm
Both of these guys like having their lines all even. Paradigm probably will end up writing everything because Beyond hasn't given many fucks since I've been here. Beyond definitely is the better writer. This team is going out in Round 1, though.

8. BROKE METHNAR - BROKE LESNAR and Meth
BROKE LESNAR easily could have found a better teammate than Meth. Meth is the definition of mediocrity. He really is pretty much worthless across the board. BROKE LESNAR, on the other hand, has been absolutely vicious in the Summer Classic and impressed me quite a bit.

9. Karpnados - Destroyer and Sound
Sound used to be good, I think. I haven't seen much from him. Destroyer is solid in every aspect but definitely not above that. It's always interesting in tag tournaments to see which partner ends up carrying the bigger load. Given Destroyer's penchant for ghost-writers and Sound's relative inactivity, it's possible God of War or Bags ends up carrying this team pretty far.

10. Coats - oats and Certain
Obviously the under-seeded favorites, oats and Certain are supposed topical battlers who have won many a traditional battle in their time. oats actually won the last Fight Night we had. Their verses will be more intelligent than other teams'.

11. The Power Trip - DLB and Defiant
Defiant seems slightly above average from the little I've read. DLB thinks Peyton Manning throws bullet passes in 2014. I recently took DLB off ignore, though, because he seems a little more intelligent upon his return. With Constrikta pulling out, they have a real shot at a first-round upset. And if ill nik-A and Bags no-show, they could make it kind of far. That's weird to think about.

12. Archives of the Ancients - King Ra. and Vulgar
These two also might be more known for topical battling, though King Ra. is in the 1-2 Punch League and Vulgar is one of the best picture battlers on this site. Neither has a traditional style, and King Ra.'s league punches have been pretty weak from what I've seen. But I really like Vulgar's style on picture battles, and I'm eager to see what he does here.

13. Baby Cakes - big baby and El Pancake
I'm really looking forward to their verse, which probably will troll the very concept of battling. These are two of the best writers on this site, but I doubt they'll take this tournament seriously at all.

14. Double K - KnowP and K Huntsman
I skimmed one battle from each of these guys to get a clue. They're both very standard, but they don't have much chance of knocking off Bags and ill nik-A if they show. However if the aforementioned scenario of Double K vs. The Power Trip comes to fruition, I could see them winning that and reaching the semifinals.

15. PIR - Adverse and Hiatus
Adverse seems young and eager to improve, which is cool. But I skimmed verses from these two, and they don't seem to have a good grasp on what's expected in battle verses.

16. Taking Hostages - Blanco Bishop and Lyfza Gamble
Blanco Bishop is squarely mediocre. Lyfza Gamble is the worst. Blanco Bishop could have found a dozen better partners.

[Paradigm]

Predictions

Round One Battles:
Advanced Placement [VS] Taking Hostages
The current Tag Team Champions Aero and Dominate have to be the favorites to win the whole tournament. Aero out to disprove his critics that he was carried. Dominate coming out the shadows. Aero coming off an embarrassing defeat at the hands of murda sho. Who knows if they will pull it together. Lyfza Gamble needs to focus up and silence his Sea Critics, with the help of Blanco Bishop cleaning up their verse will be key to having an upset here.

Winner: Aero and Dominate 90/10

BROKE METHNAR [VS] Karpnados
I've never read anything from Meth before so hard to say. Broke has been researching I'm sure and his personal attacks on Destroyer here will shine. Sound is dope and Destroyer usually brings a haymaker or two his verses. Brokes personals will outshine anything they put together with the amount of ammo he has.

Winner: BROKE LESNAR and Meth 60/40

Baby Cakes [VS] Audi Boys
The filler in this battle will be astronomical. Does this make you mad Pancake roflols. Am I doing this right? roflzlols Hush and Allen Knight are one of the top tier teams while I've never read a battle verse from Pancake. Topicalists have very high regard for big baby being one of the best among them. If he takes this seriously maybe they can pull an upset and surprise them here.

Winner: Hush and Allen Knight 90/10

Archives of the Ancients [VS] Name Pending
King Ra has a penchant for no showing. Vulgar is one of my favorite writers and always has the potential to drop something dope. murda sho has been on a tear and with his alliance with the NBL champ Alvin Karpis will be hard pressed to drop a vote to this duo.

Winner: murda sho and Alvin Karpis 90/10

PIR [VS] Milk Chocolate
PIR is a team comprised of new blood. Milk Chocolate lol is the team in which was continuously ranked 2nd when I sent out the private messages to rank the teams.

Winner: Orc and Karaoke 95/5

Coats [VS] Alpha Omega
We are the Alpha and the Omega. The beginning and the End for all that face us. Who haven't we collectively beaten past or present? I haven't been writing really and neither has Beyond so we're kind of out of practice but will make quick work of these fools. Oatmeal over here has a LLL HoF battle that wasn't half bad and Certain made a good showing in the Summer Classic. Good Luck dudebros.

Winner: Beyond and Paradigm 99/1

Nik Bags [VS] Double K
Diva ill nik-A forgot to take his medication and nerd raged off the site. Who knows if he will show. Bags is on vacation in Mexico getting stuffed into an oil barrel. They will most likely no show to be honest.

Winner: Double K 51/49

Conswervation [VS] The Power Trip
Swerve chose Strikta for his partner for some reason. He's going to jail or something. He replaced his partner with Deon. A dope battler albeit a perennial no show. Defiant lives on the moon and we don't know what time zone the moon operates on but he will probably no show a long with DLB.

Winner: Swerve 10/50noshow/40doublenoshow

Conclusion

That's it everyone. There is a lot of dope competition in the tournament. Go talk shit and give your own predictions in the chat threads. Don't be scared. I thought Netcees was known for it's Discussion and the gauntlet people had to go through to earn a place here, yet it seems everyone is scared to say anything. Where is the comradery? Where is the hype? Lets make this interesting and good luck to everyone!

[Paradigm]

Some dope lines and battles from the last tournament. I'm looking forward to reading everything from everyone this time around.

LOL at lines all even @Certain

and how do you make videos show up

[Certain]

http://www.youtube.com

No https or m.youtube.

[oats]

Dope, appreciate the effort.

[Blanco Bishop]

That aero n Dom verse was disgustingly dope.

[Blanco Bishop]

And gam ain't the worst.

[King Ra.]

Great job, Para.

[Destroyer]

bhahahha hahahhaha
I came in here to tell you to chill on the ghostwriter shit
then, I look at the punch u quoted of mine
I didn't write that
so... yeah

[Destroyer]

however, you really need to farm out some of this work to members who know more than you

broke has no personals on me other than the same tired ones everyone here has
god of war has never written a line for me
you can continue this tirade against me long after the joke stops being funny, but accurate mags would be appreciated.

[ill nik-A]

Nerd rage and u here writing mags to be accepted

Roflzzz

[Paradigm]

Originally Posted by ill nik-A

Nerd rage and u here writing mags to be accepted

Roflzzz

rageeeeeeeeeeee

and lol at tirade

those same personals are prolly going to get him the win anyways... in my oppinion. I didn't even mention ghostwriting and here you are going on about it. It's just a quick prediction dont get all emotional about it @Destroyer. btw who wrote that bar i just assumed it was you

You can go write your own predictions in the chat.

[Destroyer]

Originally Posted by Paradigm

rageeeeeeeeeeee

and lol at tirade

those same personals are prolly going to get him the win anyways... in my oppinion. I didn't even mention ghostwriting and here you are going on about it. It's just a quick prediction dont get all emotional about it @Destroyer. btw who wrote that bar i just assumed it was you

You can go write your own predictions in the chat.

it was whoever my partner was

[DLB]

Originally Posted by ill nik-A

Nerd rage and u here writing mags to be accepted

Roflzzz

[Destroyer]

ahhh, my bad I just noticed it was bitch ass certain who did the predictions

[Certain]

Originally Posted by Destroyer

ahhh, my bad I just noticed it was bitch ass certain who did the predictions

No, it wasn't.

[Destroyer]

wtf is happening?

[Certain]

Paradigm wrote predictions. I wrote team breakdowns.