Fraze 1-1 vs YDK 3-3 - YDK 4-0

[sral]

Week AOWL Season V, Week 11


SUMMARY OF RULES:

Verses are due
Tuesday at 9 p.m. Pacific/West Coast or Tuesday 11:59 PM Eastern / 6:00 AM Wednesday Central European/London
There are NO extensions.

Verses MUST be a minimum 10 lines or a maximum of 48 lines (or 650 words).

Votes are due Friday at 4:00 p.m. Western / or Friday 7:00 PM Eastern / 1:00 AM Saturday Central European/London Failure to vote will result in automatic sign out for the next week.

All competitors must vote on THREE battles and post links/ references in the voting thread.

Read the full rules here!



Topic:

G/Luck

@fraze @YDK

[YDK]

Yup

[fraze]

Check

[fraze]

this simple somber scene. a thousand words could not explain it
but freeze frame: see how delicate the moment sits adjacent
whispers of a promised future yet to be obtained with
sibling sister history hunting mysteries to vanquish
amidst a mix of light and dark. these shadows that we're tracing
cannot contain the anguish. see it dripping from their faces.
canvas streaked and stained. the fleetest silver traces frame it
left feeling the gilt but we’re in doubt of whos the plaintiff
a shame to see what once was verdant left deserted aint it
seems in spite our best efforts we’ll still be herded nameless
wretched masses massing left the victims of the brainless
doomed to miss the picture. its just too beautifully painted.

[sral]

@YDK if you can match him before I wake, I'll allow it

I'd always sooner a battle happen over a no show!

[YDK]

Dope thanks man

[YDK]

Picture perfect portraits, poignant on purpose,
Important appointments ignored because of the price of the purchase.
What's life to a circus?
All show and no substance like light on a surface
Without light from the circuits
There'd be no light on that surface
That light would be worthless without that surface for light
To reflect through the room just to service our life
We deserve it though right?
We as humans serve a purpose so we deserve it in spite
Of the fact we didn't create it, it created US! Right?
Yet we don't work for it at all; just pay the bill and that's it
Like fat kids waking up in the morning just expecting breakfast.
We take what we're given, expect more and complain
That we have to do ANYTHING that resembles constraint
The whole ensemble's a pain; but we ain't given it up
Because light gave us sight but now our vision is fucked

[asylum]

/v ydk.

for one simple reason.
fraze observed, ydk explained it to us.
i cant break it down any further. that's it.

[e11even]

Fraze- this was a pretty cool take on the topic. The ending and sometimes throughout sorta connected, but it seems this piece told a fragmented story.
Whispers of a promised future yet to be obtained with
sibling sister history hunting mysteries to vanquish
amidst a mix of light and dark. these shadows that we're tracing
cannot contain the anguish. see it dripping from their faces.
This excerpt seems to have hinted at some sort of backstory but never got specific on how it led to the result:
a shame to see what once was verdant left deserted aint it
seems in spite our best efforts we’ll still be herded nameless
wretched masses massing left the victims of the brainless
Very vague piece but it had potential. I wish I could have seen a more complete version of this. It sounded pretty good on the face of it. Good job.

Ydk- funny thing is this is my second time voting on this battle. My previous shit was erased lol. I say that to say this: it took me three times reading to interpret this piece. I don't know what anyone else sees, but I see a piece on vanity and this generation's soulless laziness. This is such a relevant thing since social media runs our lives these days. I saw this with the light on our vanity, being the surface (selfies), etc. If I interpreted correctly, it looks like you have a pretty cool drop on your hands IMO . This was insightful and hopefully inciteful lol. I liked the overall message so that was kinda my focus in reading this. Good job.

I think both pieces chose the same format with two seemingly different subject matter approaches. I liked both. MVGT YDK the content and overall enjoyment of the verse.

[EtH]

fraze - A bit on the vague side for me. I can decipher a couple of parts but really it's all a bit overly vague for me to properly enjoy it. Very good wording choices and some good poetic techniques to connect the flow up throughout as well.

YDK - A few downsides with the repeated words throughout but nothing too bad. A quick enough drop, and again I like to see you stick to what you're best at and delivery something really personal to either yourself or the protagonist rather than narrate a commentary drop, but this was still a solid little drop.

Overall, both clearly rushed but dropped some really solid pieces for rushjobs. I think one was just a little bit clearer and cleaner which is more to my liking.

MVGT - YDK

[Nigma]

This was cool to read. Both doing unconventional things with there verses to get it done in a quicker than normal time.

Fraze, went with the (essentially) one rhyme scheme type of drop and pulled it off mechanically wise. Felt the wording was strong for what you set to accomplish and had a cool depiction of the topic with the whole perception of shadows theme. Verse turned out pretty good

YDK, wasn't too keen on your first two lines, awkward wording to me, but after then I was digging it. This was a lot of nameplay stuff, but also had engaging content that kept my attention. Liked the finality in your closing bar, solid finish.

Conceptually both were similar with the light/dark references, but YDKs verse had a deeper level of thought put into it, was more engaging for me, and provided the better read. Really close battle though, I like these short ones.

+1 YDK

[Adonis]

YDK flawless 4-0