theMuzzl3 is Blacklisted

[theMuzzl3]

Why won't anybody respond to me?
I'm blacklisted: banished from your ears.
If you hear my words, you'll crumble with disgust.
If you have the nerve to vote for me, you'll be cast out with distrust.
I must make you hear me, some how, some way… I must.
I'm dangling by a thread and you're holding the lighter,
but I swear I speak from dead to brighter, leaking even tighter
secrets than ever before. And, the scores are stacked against me.
I can't say meaningful phrases because this muzzle mask is only slightly
lifted off of my hideous face, and my bite is still held tightly within
the mask they call theMuzzl3. I'm still puzzled as to how to unpin
the cover up of my words… fuck the camouflage of this disguise.
Every night I dream of methods to uncover the slaughtering of my demise.
But, this mother fucking Muzzl3 mask hovers over me, denying all of my tries.
At the same time, analyze my finalized words, and tell me who you think I am.
And, if you think I'm somebody else, I could give a rat's ass God Damn.
Paralyzed, your fame and lies compel you to care less, and blink your eyes
while I claim the same agonizing spell that implies you have no concern who dies;
its the same hell that antagonized me and placed this mask to cover my cries.
And, I dare you to confess and yell out each persons' expiration, and nurture what
we must liberalize, exorcise, and purify: the emphasized clarity of our blessed nature;
of what we can stabilize and constantly agree with signed statements, what is "for sure".

[Kin]

stand out line for me

Every night I dream of methods to uncover the slaughtering of my demise.

honestly the lines are pretty stretched an the rhymes in general are pretty basic compared to the level most people here are on...I'd suggest shortening up the bars an tuckin' the rhyme scheme a lil' tighter also stay away from single syllable rhyming words...kick some multi's in..

show an prove

HoLLa

[Zen]

I see you didn't take my advice about taking time on your drops and not posting one every few days. Fuck me, right? The truth is, this isn't good. Whenever I think that maybe you're about to say something cool, you fuck it up with poor wording. This is why I said reread over your verse a couple of times and you will find what sticks out in a bad way, and then you fix it. It's not complicated. Yes, you are blacklisted partially because of your reputation as...well, as you lol, but the other half of that rep was earned by you sucking tremendously. Ask yourself, why would someone want to take time out of their day to read something that they don't like especially if that person just threw it together on a whim? You CAN improve that part of your reputation by taking your time like I've already said. If that doesn't work, then maybe this hobby isn't a hobby for you? Idk. I'm not trying to be a dick, seriously, but the best way for you to get better is for you to be hard on yourself. I can sit here all day and tell you everything that is wrong with it, but unless you see it and believe it I'm just wasting my time.

Another thing, one drop a week. When you post over and over and over, other members posts are being pushed to page 2, and once a piece goes to page 2 you can basically forget feed. Don't be that dick.

Peace.

[theMuzzl3]

@Kin
This was more of poetry than rap --- I didn't take any time to 'drop rhymes' or keep things in a musically schematic structure. However, your advice is very good; thank you.


@Zen, I see your points, and I read some of them before... I'll probably stop using this site soon and then you'll be so happy.

I'm probably too overzealous in my actions here because its been years since I was getting thousands of hits on my myspace blog -- LOL.

Maybe I'll just stick to the OM Cypher topic, that way people don't get bumped down... I just put feeling into words I write and then when people disrespect them it rubs me off in a negative way, which probably doesn't help my writing. I know I'm not as skilled as many of the emcee's and poets that post on this forum, but if they're not posting new shit... then I won't read it.

[Kin]

Even poetry has structure tho bro....use the feedback to improve... an show others respect with better feed then "this was dope"....that will make them take u more seriously

Pz

[theMuzzl3]

Originally Posted by Kin

Even poetry has structure tho bro....use the feedback to improve... an show others respect with better feed then "this was dope"....that will make them take u more seriously

Pz

thanks, you and Zen are definitely some of the more intelligent people on this forum.

Some people say some stupid ass shit, and they still get credit... if it was English 101, I'd get a C- and they'd drop out before they got an F.

At least Kin said something positive about my post. Zen is obviously a master of some sort and just shoots me down, hoping that I'll get up again and take his words as true advice.