WEEK 5: (2-2) Seth V (1-1) Hush (3-2 HUSH WINS)

[dull boy]

Rules

1 bar minimum 2 bar max per post

Bar(s) must reference your opponent's, either directly or indirectly
(excluding the first bar(s) posted in the battle, obv)

DO NOT post twice in a row

There is NO restriction on how quickly you can respond once your opponent has posted
(failure to respond within 24 hours of your opponent will result in a DQ)

Excessive chatter leading up to your bars could result in a DQ at my discretion. Let your bars do the talking.

NEW RULE; once both battlers have posted once if you fail to respond within 24 hours your turn will be forfeited and your opponent will have 24 hours from the time your deadline expired to post an additional 1 or 2 bars. You will then be given 24 hours to respond. Failing to respond within the 24 hours more than once will result in the battle ending after your opponent has exercised or declined their option to post an additional 1 or 2 bars.

If you opened the battle you may not post after 10:59PM EST on Sunday.
This is to discourage last second posting without giving your opponent the opportunity to respond and equal the number of posts in a battle.

Thread will close Sunday at midnight EST

~Rusty Gunz~ you're up first. You have 24 hours from the time this thread was posted.

Do me a favor and @ your opponent each time you post. Good luck.

[~RustyGunZ~]

Ur a colorful character w/ a wife that got a jaw like a Boulder no lyin
We seen you in that bunny costume, no wonder you got a wife off Easter island

[Hush]

Every line I drop is a dome hit
Ya bitch fuck like a rabbit , and also sleep in a cage full of her own shit
U buy her dinner from pet land..hamsters the shape of her body
So next time I full her mouth wit pellets they’ll be from the shottie

[~RustyGunZ~]

Thank god ur kids take after u, let’s talk bout the animals in UR life
U lucky the stork delivered them & not the pelican that delivered ur wife
Jaw in the crosshairs, my clips extended & I ain’t gotta shy aim
If I fill ur wife mouth with pellets it’s gonna destroy the supply chain

[Hush]

Cant keep ya bitch on a leash cuz she’s in the elephant size range
They had to buy planes to strengthen supply chains cuz her fat neck broke 29 chains
Could any creature in the animal kingdom lift her .. no fucking way
Bitch got delivered on the same forklift u use to feed her today

[~RustyGunZ~]

That opener was boring, thought this spar would get dirty
I was nodding off then saw broke 29 & felt terrible u still are in ur 30s
My bride beautiful & sophisticated, urs an ape, a ghetto fire bomb
When a forklift to feed your wife she grabbed it with her entire palm

[Hush]

My bitch palm the fork yours palm the steak .. she a wide bitxh
The way she shifting plates at the buffet is groundbreaking and seismic
The expense living wit that fat chick is wild
Last time u saw broke 29 she stepped on 30 kitchen tiles

[~RustyGunZ~]

Patheticc.. ur jobless so mamacita hustlin, she really needs to
Ur wife also holds plates w/ her palm.. elbow, & shoulder busin tables to feed u
The expense of living with u is more mental, those who stayed cryin at night
Let’s talk about broken tiles, & how ur pops left to sleep on them high as a kite

[Hush]

If she had to wait on ur wife she quit like “hell no”
Ur bitch bussin tables too.. when she lean on em wit her elbows
Bitch an Olympic lifter when it come to taking a bite
She loading plates for gains and never seen a weight room in her life

[~RustyGunZ~]

She can’t hold job either? There’s a ton different with our wife’s
Y’all on unemployment, WIC & EBT.. ur bitch seen a wait room a lot in her life
Talk a lot about my family eating, dinner time always been a threat
If a table ever flipped at ur house, dad beat u then took 25 yrs to buy cigarettes

[Hush]

Finally said something i can agree wit cuz ya bitch is a whale
Definitely is a TON difference with them ... and that’s just on the scale
I’m a be flipping houses I just took a real estate course
And mrs Canfield flip houses when she step too hard on the porch

[~RustyGunZ~]

Ur wife 1 waist size below mine, but couldn’t fit either over her head
Ain’t a whale, but Pinocchio wouldn’t made it to her belly before Geppetto was dead
Junkie dad came back, babysits while u slangin those rocks
Felt like the weight of the world on the scale when u bagged up that gram for ya pops

[Hush]

You’ve literally never fit that entire bitch in a picture
She push her scales to the limit cuz she disengage her jaw like a boa constrikta
Fuck Gepetto the blue fairy and the wooden boy.. this ain’t Disney night
You blew fairies and been around enuff wood and boys to infringe copywrite

[~RustyGunZ~]

Ur dad thinks ur a faggot, & mom he barely missed her
You’ve literally never fit your entire family in a picture
Ur dad knows ur a faggot, & ur wife calls ur dick the mini missile
Jaw disengaged.. Your bitch doesn’t blow fairies, it’s more of a whistle

[Hush]

For me fat wife is a meme. For you it’s life
Diss engaged ?? All ur friends did that when u picked that pig for a wife
Quick guys
Let’s see him flip an excuse for fantasizing about my dick size

[~RustyGunZ~]

Excuses? I ain’t homophobic. I can joke, for u it’s a part of ya
U in the closet but still brought them fantasies to life like Narnia
On paper my marriage perfect, urs kinda smells of shit
No engagement of urs to diss cus it would mess up ur state benefits

[Hush]

Ur fat ginger gay and Jewish . That’s loser lottery
When they find u in the closet I pray it’s a robin Williams style comedy
She got a food fetish and been penis petting .. why even bother
Ur marriage make less sense on paper than “in god we trust “ on a dollar

[~RustyGunZ~]

Comedy is ur money flow, pockets burning he’s a bill abuser
U short, gay, dumb, Mexican.. & literally won the lottery but still a loser
So mami gotta support ya, nighttime on the pole in her element
In god u can trust if I took a closer look at those words I’d smell her shit

[Hush]

That lotto shit a fail cuz ...
My winning numbers read 16 digits same way her scale does
My wife a bad bitch from the barrio
I swear if your wife jumped on the pole she’d bring the house down like Mario

[~RustyGunZ~]

Fuck Des advice, u used that line 40 times u basic bitch
U keep thinking scales is bright cus ur wife got the face of an angler fish

[Hush]

Boy fuck is u thinking
Ur wife got the face of a bitch who’d eat a raw angler fish without blinking

[~RustyGunZ~]

U a ghetto Luigi & she got the face of Mario with a fade & shave
A ratchet barrio creature, look like she get Brazilians with a razorblade
But I’ll let her be, gettin scared cus I know she’d defeat me
If she snaps it’s over, she built head to toe like Thanos with a cheap weave

[Hush]

U big as a barn and softer than yarn. One uppercut send U goodnight
Couldn’t weave a punch so ur face getting sewn up after the fight
Spending ya nights eating cheetos on the pc first person shootin
Game over ; u look like duke nukem overdosing on too much gluten

[~RustyGunZ~]

Pardon me, but that hog gettin filled with bullets it’s a party g
Duke Nukem ya wife for lookin like Pigcop overdosing on menthols & cardi b

[Hush]

Ya bitch built like a Harley .. I wouldn’t even throat the dike
U been riding that old hog full throttle and never seen a motor bike
One accident in oral sex and u might murder the dame
Last time u dropped a few lbs ya gut fell on her head during brains

[~RustyGunZ~]

Fuc a Harley ur girl built like a caddy, room for the whole hood slime
If u told her the forine was outside, she’d say to bring him in for a good time
It’s all love tho. My girl fat, urs jaw an anvil. It’s all been said
Y’all a match made in heaven, u got an inflated ego & the block call her big head

[Hush]

Ya wife look like hodor in drag and your pure fag
They call the bitch Ego cuz she the size of a planet like star lords dad
I jump in the forine with a dime worth adoring
U at a gang bang getting cucked for pennies she sticking all four in

[~RustyGunZ~]

Ur ego a defense mechanism, over time it slipped
Star Lords dad left him to be star dust, urs left u to rail lines of it
The science is off, that anatomy is goin south
My wife could handle 3 Max all holes, ur can fit four in just her mouth

[Hush]

The joke was her pussys wide as her gut.. u geekin out
If u gonna keep posting ass at least be like spree and make it count
I’m telling this lame facts
Far as rail lines ur bitch suck dick for Arby’s down by the train tracks

[~RustyGunZ~]

I can wine & her, Arby’s is fairly odd & nowhere we eating in
She gets dressed in red for 4 star dates, urs turns into the Crimson Chin

[Hush]

Nigga u mental
U dressed in red wit a crimson chin ... u eat the fat bitch on her menstrual
Mentioned how u wine her and not dine her...I don’t wana ask ...
Guess u gotta be drunk to hit it and feeding hers an impossible task

[~RustyGunZ~]

Ur wife anything but a chick
U can’t get menstrual blood in ur mouth from suckin dick
Ur life a typo so don’t play that
If I mention the dine her it’s the one ur wife makes minimum wage at

[Hush]

You used a diner wp
Nigga u wack I don’t gotta rhyme that

[~RustyGunZ~]

Fuck a multi dawg I’m tuff with words
I didn’t rhyme was my excuse for losin to Frac, the fuck is yours
Who needs proper English, concepts I got mad of those
U ain’t hoppin in the streets, your bride is just a battletoad

[Hush]

I was robbed in a close battle but you died in a sweep
We both lost to the nigga but what’s ur excuse for crying for weeks
Ok I married a frog but ur bitch big as a wagon
Eat a whole Komodo in 8 bytes .. she got 2 chins and they double dragon

[~RustyGunZ~]

Ur girl got a great metabolism, vs tacos she establishin wins
Everytime she start to get a second chin it becomes a vanishing twin
How to train a hoe, double dragon is right on the nose
I can’t tell if ur girl look like Barf or Belch but she makes me do both

[Hush]

Can’t talk cuz ya Mrs ugly as fuck an a slut.. prolly fucking ur brother
Nickname that pussy depression .. everyone u know been thru it at one time or another
So say excuse me around me or get bitch slapped
If I pass gas it’s kerosine all over your porch then a lit match

[~RustyGunZ~]

Depression? Let me do Des idea justice, ur wife bowsers apprentice
Idk what’s a greater impression, her Leno or the one she leaves at the dentist
U think my girl been through a lot? Listen to me...
I got a confession, the block be in your wife box religiously

[Hush]

u on Des dick doing shit he flipped before
I don’t know much abt king koopa but when ur wife bowser stomach hit the floor

[~RustyGunZ~]

Underbite cuttin dick, ur girl on the floor suckin no roomba
Coke whore, she an easy jump on bricks and looks like a goomba

[Hush]

Ur baby mom chewed til her incisor teeth ran flat
She got a underbite too.. hiding beneath the table to eat the scraps
Enroll that obese bitch in Zumba
The bitch round and eat all the crumbs off the floor she a roomba

[dull boy]

Consensus

Judge's quotes

pretty clear early on in this that these two were really evenly matched

I laughed out loud several times during this

this was essentially a toss up. I laughed a couple times more often on Hush drops than (Rust), so that gives him the win. I think Seth would have beaten many of the other battlers this week

The fat wife vs jaw thing was hilarious and honestly as much as it was done it didn’t get old but I got Hush winning this one he just had a few more hits to me, Seth still did great though

Pretty even until Seth's losing to Frac bar put him way ahead for me, and while Hush's depression angle was dope it wasn't too direct a retort

Despite cowriting a novel these guys were really consistent

I’m giving Seth the slight edge for the hilarious level of imagery in some of his rebuttals and having less misses for me in general.

This was a long fucking battle and extremely difficult to vote on, because for the most part both Hush and Seth were evenly matched with similar styles. Judges also had varying opinions on who was winning the battle at which point, highlighting just how much of a toss up it was. With the battle the way it was I think it played into Hush's hands a little bit. This was a hell of a battle and exactly what this concept was meant to bring out.

Verdict

This came down to who had more highlights for judges and 3 thought Hush did, leaving 2 on the opposite side of the coin.

3-2 Hush wins