pabloescoborrow

[brokenhal0]

dark episodes re runs catch you when your composed
espirto desperado your abuelitas say its not spiritual

you question what do i know eyesfold blade like a tanto
eys glow like a cats at night one sight allign
so now your suns bright

black and white im a serious star height a jewel for your far sight
getting close understood the symbols when im ghost from parasitic host

straight slum hit em with the peroxide the narcs eatin fried chicken on a parkslide
in the dark crys from the hawk glide the sky where ether resides

walk with me got my barbecue for pork city
got my armor too and the slores and there mommas too

your honor is skewed if its street i feel like harming you too
short and sweet make it a memory you can't delete

i gotta learn to have empathy but i can't be beat
so i am the one whos ending my escape

up the creek of the nape where the moon
spins in space lets bring it back to the material planes

i can't maintain get my change and feed the bank
walk the plank of god where the waters end

live in a clean tank and keep a keen eye where all the walls will bend

[Certain]

The spelling mistakes were distracting. There are a few interesting thoughts here, though. There was a little bit of Ghostface Killah in this couplet:

straight slum hit em with the peroxide the narcs eatin fried chicken on a parkslide
in the dark crys from the hawk glide the sky where ether resides

Clean up the spelling and puncation. Don't break up your couplets because it distracts from continued rhyme patterns. Try to stick to a single voice a little more in a single verse.

[Wise Wiggles]

dope fucking end

[brokenhal0]

those last lines made me feel weird so i had to throw em in thanks for reading it fellaz

[Exis]

Be good if you broke up your shit a little...everythin' seems to just run on and into stuff alot durin' sentences...there's heaps to like though...thought the first line and how you ended things were nice no doubt, overall it's enjoyable.

...Stay uppity.

[Pakistani Hand Cannon]

this was weird, not really sure if i liked it...i think i did for it being intriguing if nothing else

& on a side note, fuck breaking your shit up & the punctuation & wdeva else these niggas is talking that has little to no relevance.

two words. do you.

i might re-read & offer any other thoughts i had directly on this shit some other time.

#1

[Kiki]

I like this especially the end clean up the grammar so it isnt distracting to the reader

as a writer i wont tell u to not break up ur lines like that but it did mess up the rhyme pattern as i read it but hey do what make sense to you :) pretty good and intriguing tho