So you may know I have recently been diagnosed with OCD

[Witty]

Lol this went interesting places.

To be clear, I don't consider this something that defines my life or who I am, it's just good to learn why I feel a certain way sometimes or do certain things I can't explain. It's not like I'm sitting dwelling on it, I'm building a family and a future, I seem to be well liked by pretty much anyone I know socially, I consider learning how my mind works and accepting this form of mental illness in order to make my future, and my family's future as happy as possible, quite essential. Which is why I am only now choosing to address it. It's ok to laugh at it, I do, my gf does, my family do...cuz a lot of the odd things i do are funny as fuck, but yeah...I like to consider myself a well balanced and responsible person who knows he has things to overcome and is working on doing so.

[Saint]

ADHD here.

[Saint]

oh just read the thread it got derailed fuck me

[Witty]

Lmao I would be disappointed if it didn't.

The day someones personal afflictions are not mocked and ridiculed on netcees, is the day netcees dies forever. @sraL loves me, but he has a role...he does what he has to do.

I'ma still body him in a whiskey drinking contest tho.

[sral]

YOU A GLASS OF WHISKEY HALF EMPTY FAGGOT

ID MOVE YOUR BEERMAT TO A NON 45 DEGREE ANGLE AND YOU WOULD BURST INTO A FLOOD OF TEARS BIGGER THAN GIRUGAMESH

P.S I'M IN IRELAND FROM GOOD FRIDAY TIL THE START OF APRIL HOLLA ATCHA BOY

[Witty]

Lol you'd be in the gutter while I'm still working on getting a buzz.

[Mike Wrecka]

I clicked on this thread to confirm that I'm way more awesome than all of u


Thread did not disappoint

[Witty]

The fact you needed that self esteem boost speaks volumes.

[El Muffin]

Mike a diagnosed fgt thooo if that's any compensation

[Pharaohs Army]

i don't know guys. it's kinda hard to explain.
i've been thinking about making a 'goodbye'(from this site)type-verse, which of course would be "from myself" (pharaohs), and it'd be totally epic and deep and from a 100% real place from my inner core. And I'd write it and edit it for a period of days instead of sitting down for a half hour and making it up as I go. But I doubt I could do either thing (leave / write properly).. so that's just an idea I'm floating now since a certain user here has actually hit a few sore spots of late. Particularly where he had a line that kind of "spoke for the community of he and netcees".. just really clever and fucked. I'm sure something will hit me as far as a great response for him but it's starting to (finally) get to the point where it's starting to get a little bit unhealthy and masochistic.

Speaking of him, emcee has always had an idea in mind where he writes a "medical verse for the buddha", which basically would be a syllabic extravaganza which PROPERLY rhymed a shit-ton of medical/mental terminology, and it could only be spit by rappers who know what they're doing. Again, it'd have to be researched (not a field I'm familiar with), and also written with discipline and effort, where the rhyming would be a "given" but the content and cohesion would be sick as well.

Recently I've come to the conclusion that being an editor is my calling in life. I'm wondering the "ethics" of becoming an editor for college kids' research papers&essays (I'm reallllly good; I can do it where I don't change their content but just nip and tuck expertly).. I donno. Probly hard to make a living on that, but we can all dream right?

Truly Laughed out loud at a few things Lars said here. I really wanna quote but I donno- find your own favorites.

Dull boy I feel kinda bad for you because sometimes shit just 'is what it is', but I understand you may have an actual chemical imbalance. Like do you ever just think 'fuk i dont need dat bitch and the world is actually cool becuz i'm ridin round blunted n dont giv a fuk'? or do you ever think 'this mindless show is really funny and i love the taste of this unhealthy snack while i watch it'. lol
Really a hypocritical move on my part to ask you these questions-- just curious tbh

Godcomplex aka Buddha you're right bro; well said.

I hope I'm not too much of an embarrassment as far as my extreeme overuse of the "feedback topic". If I'm being honest I cannot stop myself. Sorry.

Everyone to some extent feels different and fluctuates and has different perspectives... it's taken me a lot of overcoming denial but on some occasions I can see where mine can be very real and very extreme and very rapid. It's actually enjoyable and fun sometimes, but not everyone can be an energizer bunny forever. Sometimes there's a price to pay, so to speak.

As far as writing goes I am just absolutely intrigued to no end about the 2 polar extremes of a writing process-- 1)where ideas for multiples and sickly structured phrases come to mind while I'm trying to fall asleep (specially shortly after a lonnng weed binge; which we've stopped for now but that's a whole nother can of worms),, anyways I save sick little snippets and send them to my own e-mail, then I have a really fun time piecing them together and making something out of them. Of course I fill in the gaps on the fly, but the initial rhymes give me not only a schematic idea but also a content idea.... then 2)you've got what Zen told me about, where you could write EXACTLY what you "wanna say" and then work on making it rhyme... I've dabbled in this a little bit but it's hard because it's something I have to "do", as opposed to #1 which just comes naturally.. but tbh a lot of times i just #3)start on blankslate... #1 is when I write "well" though, as far as shit i can rap and should record.

N.e.wayz I like writing; bbl
Lars, insult me freely.
you're fine witty; cheers

[Destroyer]

I've determined by the fact that I got no love for my Shakespeare joke that I am boarding with a bunch of idiots
just kidding, I realized that fact long ago

[Mr. J]

But Shakespeare writes comedies..

[Pharaohs Army]

Well, had a hard days work for the first time in a few weeks, and then went to bed real early and forced myself to go back to sleep after a few times of waking up.


And now I feel totally normal..just night&day.. And like "WTF was I doing with some of the things I was writing here on the lime?" In fact, before falling back2sleep to finish the sleep, I actually thought about the logistics of erasing 95% of my posts, both rap and discussion, just because I think "shame" had entered back into my being (like normal humans have).. haha.. (I would have kept emcee's tho because he is dope "more often" than I am, plus it'd be "entertaining evidence" for why I was bullied off the site)..

...But then I read this post I made here and it's "not that bad".. tbh.. Really not too embarrassing.. some ya'll should be proud that certain threads inspired me to "post as a real human" even if some of it was fucked up "life shit"..

So now that I'm feeling normal, I think to myself: ok, I'm probably bipolar and a degenerate who writes too much material and talks too much shit... big fucking deal-- I'm incredibly well-adjusted compared to 80% of the weirdos here-- like emos, and conspiracy theorists, and former druggies who used to perpetrate in sadistic and graphic gay sex acts, and "serial boarders" who validate their life by making an epic reply,,

So really I've come to embrace the lime; and I blame you All.

[Pharaohs Army]

And witty, I'm sure a lot of things you've mentioned could be 'real OCD', but counting syllables is normal dude-- just means you're a writer/emcee.

(btw Lars, I haven't encountered any great 'every day multies' in a long time.. maybe my radar is just off and i haven't been paying enough attention)

So, witty, I actually have an intrinsic 'feel' for syllables; I don't bother counting my own or other ppls... But I could be overestimating my instincts.. I remember a couple years ago I wrote something (only time I've ever done it) where I made SURE all the lines were either 7 or 10 syllabies... Was really orders of magnitude better than a lot of my things... So should probably pay more attn to syllable counts but w/e

few days ago i was keystylin something and had a couple bars that were like
"some well respected scholars
and maybe they could tell you"

i wrote it in like 1 second, and then later on I looked at it and was like, "sweet, both those lines r 7 syllables"

[Pharaohs Army]

Originally Posted by Witty

The obsession is that one day I will become evil, not right now, but in the future. That I will do evil things to those I love and that I will lose my sense of humanity and my moral compass. The things I do calm that somewhat, and if I don't do them I sink to a dark place where I often feel like killing myself is the only way to ensure I die a good person. I also obsess that if I don't do it I will get some sort of disease as punishment.

Welcome to my mind people, it's awesome lmao

btw I have never attempted suicide, I always manage to pull myself through it, because I have to.

I hate to 'box anyone in' to a particular diagnosis, and I admittedly don't know the ins&outs of psychology, but (hate to tell you) this sounds a little bit worse than OCD... like, schizophrenia or some shit. Be careful mang

[Witty]

Lol nah man, it's really not as bad as admittedly that post makes it seem, those feelings apparently are normal for people with OCD, and it's very rare it gets to a stage where it becomes overpowering. I'm sane and rational, just with what are called 'intrusive thoughts' which many people have but just don't obsess on them. I don't get mood swings or anything like that, and honestly unless you know me very very well you wouldn't know I have OCD at all, basically my thoughts say 'you have to do this, and if you don't bad things will happen' so i do them and it's all good...now I'm learning not to do them and to rationalise those thoughts and face them head on, which is helping a lot.

[Witty]

And with the syllable thing, yeah absolutely, many many people do things like that as a habit, that type of OCD behaviour is very normal, it's when you feel like you HAVE to do it and in order not to it takes significant mental strength to avoid doing it, that it's an indicator of something else.

[Witty]

Triple post of shame.

But yo, I'm not one to have a huge ego, but I consider myself a lot stronger, mentally, than most...cuz I deal with this shit on a daily basis and still live a good life, and be a good person. This shit doesn't make me weak, it makes me strong.

[sral]

Originally Posted by Pharaohs Army

And witty, I'm sure a lot of things you've mentioned could be 'real OCD', but counting syllables is normal dude-- just means you're a writer/emcee.

(btw Lars, I haven't encountered any great 'every day multies' in a long time.. maybe my radar is just off and i haven't been paying enough attention)

So, witty, I actually have an intrinsic 'feel' for syllables; I don't bother counting my own or other ppls... But I could be overestimating my instincts.. I remember a couple years ago I wrote something (only time I've ever done it) where I made SURE all the lines were either 7 or 10 syllabies... Was really orders of magnitude better than a lot of my things... So should probably pay more attn to syllable counts but w/e

few days ago i was keystylin something and had a couple bars that were like
"some well respected scholars
and maybe they could tell you"

i wrote it in like 1 second, and then later on I looked at it and was like, "sweet, both those lines r 7 syllables"

lol me and @MMLP play the EDM game all the time via WhatsApp

theres quite a few in peoples random FB posts

saw one on a sports page about the Premier League that had "Top four lock horns" recently which was pretty good

[veritas]

Fox,

Your problem is that you consider yourself a good person to begin with. Search your feelings and get back to me.