TYSON VS GENOCIDE (Topical Battle) TYSON WINS

[TYSON]

Topical Battle
Topic: When the fire dies, will the shadows still be present?

Rules

Lines - 20-30
Due - Sunday Midnight

Recycling = DQ
Biting = DQ
FEEDING = DQ

(Mentioning anything from your opponents verse is not allowed in this battle)

Feeding = Flipping a line from your opponents verse. Don't do it.

No using opponents picture without opponents permission. If you do so the picture will be edited out and you might even get DQ'd for it.

1st to 5 votes wins
4-0 = KO
4-1 = TKO

Each battler MUST post 2 links to battles you have voted on.
There are no exceptions to this rule. Vote or don't battle. If you don't have 100 posts then just post links to feedback you left in the Open Mic Forum. Don't reuse links cause you will be DQ'd for it.

Don't drop until your opponent checks in. No check = No no show and a waste of time.

Link to the battle in the Report Finished Battles thread when its done so it can be recorded and closed ASAP.

This Battle will get closed if voting links aren't provided within 48 hours of battle's creation

Voting Links can not be older than when this thread was created.

Links must be from battles in the Battle Arena ONLY. Votes on leagues or tournaments will not count as voting links in the battle arena.

Re-using voting links = Vote deductions and possible DQ.

If you want to bump/Up your battle you have to vote on 2 new battles

Post the two new voting links in the bump/up. reusing voting links even for the bump = Vote Deductions & possibly dq. if you have more than 1 battle you want to bump. its 2 new voting links for each battle. Bumping/upping without new voting links = vote deductions and possibly dq. Posting comments towards voters and/or opponent is considered a bump and possible sway/freepost and frowned upon

[Geno]

..let's get it

[Geno]

When the fire dies, wil the shadows still be present.


A wicked worlds biography, twisted twirls of geography
To much shit in the bag to explain this colostomy
Earthlings and labotomies, for this hell hole of pottery
That we melt, molded, sottering, into what's present modernly
So much dust -feathers frollicking, I mean picture it though
Watching the world through a glass pane as the window explodes
From a pin hole it grows, corrodes, until nothing exists
And will my shadow still be friendly when the sun flips its switch
While the moon flourishes, you inhabit caverns afraid
Because the footstones of life are now attatched to a leg
Its like we've gone back in the days when dragons were slayed
And birds are passed back and forth the way badmintons played
This is actual paint, I'm drawing you the violence I find
Watching our bright ideas fade as the fires subside
Candles burning, alkalines buying us time, a thoughtful design
But the maglights die without the chargeable kind
And the shadows get lost while thier walking behind
Night and day start to combine, its all in your mind
Compartments of lies, but hard to refuke..
The lights a fucking myth now, and the darkness is truth

[Geno]

http://www.artofbattling.com/forum/s...OR-VOTES/page2

http://artofbattling.com/forum/showt...=7561#post7561

[TYSON]

http://artofbattling.com/forum/showt...=7952#post7952 2

http://artofbattling.com/forum/showthread.php?1556

[Geno]

Granted.

[TYSON]

Blood on my hands trembling from adrenaline
International thugs over land with combat boots instead of timberlands
Left our summer dreams to December cold nightmares
So u can imagine the steam as the scent of rot covers the night air
Yet we right here worshipped for our justified killings
Comrades riding the skys willing to drop bombs to crush the enemy lines ceiling
No pity we denied feelings even if they kneeling and crying to survive
The sights of these crimes look victorious to u but its eating me alive
I'm trying to maintain don't want to be consumed by the fire
They newborns are trained seen cribs boom to fulfill religious desires
These crude acts that transpired has damaged my moral compass
To soothe the cracks in my head I blow on this miniature oral trumpet
How loud it rings driving out the voices and visions of corpses in distortion
Seering bullets ripp thru enemy forces bayonet slicing tid bit portions
Leaving nothing Remaining but bodys in contortion
At one point it was important to be the crude soldier I was
Now the war is over and I'm expected to resume morning folgers with love
They set fire to my dreams now I'm suppose to bloom roses and hugs
I shrug at that expectation drugs calm that ex fixation
Fuck who provided the inclination that its ok to sacrifice my soul for a nation

Links will be up shortly .....

[Boredom]

Both had an interesting approach to the topic but IMO geno was more on point with the imagery and vocab, as well as the complexity of scheme which is something that's needed to make topicals interesting and draw you in to the story the writer is trying to portray. Tysons wording was off an multi match ups were quite off and made for a shakey read which gives a lack of emotion to the peice. soooo I have geno copping the dub for those reasons

[Split]

Geno. didn't like the scheming here tbh. didn't highlight your lyrical abilities that well. kind of detached, and deep/metaphorical, but it didn't grab me at any point. some cool metas thrown in there

Blood on my hands trembling from adrenaline
International thugs over land with combat boots instead of timberlands
Left our summer dreams to December cold nightmares
+
And will my shadow still be friendly when the sun flips its switch
While the moon flourishes, you inhabit caverns afraid
Because the footstones of life are now attatched to a leg


Tyson. was feeling your whole drop... I love the twist on the topic, lots of emotion and good wording. Use commas though.

They set fire to my dreams now I'm suppose to bloom roses and hugs
I shrug at that expectation drugs calm that ex fixation
Fuck who provided the inclination that its ok to sacrifice my soul for a nation

nice.

I have Tyson winning. Connected to his piece more, pulled more enjoyable lines out and felt he took the topic farther in this battle. good match

v/tyson

[Jah Homie]

Both ya'll are ballers. Real talk. I really gotta nitpick through the details.
Genocide: Was great. I never felt the solid punch -- it seems more were put in the buildups. The imagery was great, and the wordplay was definitley above average -- but it wasn't anything really special. I have to say that there were one or two ryhmes that were off-scheme.

Originally Posted by Geno

So much dust -feathers frollicking, I mean picture it though
Watching the world through a glass pane as the window explodes

Tyson -- I felt the wordplay went hand-in-hand with the metaphors. Throughout the whole 16, you managed to keep the whole scheme rhyming. Good proportional use of syllables throughout the punches -- I could really feel the anger. The ending capped it off. It was real smooth, and well put together.

This was pretty awesome here:

I shrug at that expectation drugs calm that ex fixation
Fuck who provided the inclination that its ok to sacrifice my soul for a nation

I actually felt the vocabulary and shcemes were a bit better with Tyson. Tried to judge this earlier, read through it, came to the opposite conclusion, went back and felt it. Again, I can't really fault the lines of either and this is on some minute detail shit.

[Geno]

here's another link.
http://artofbattling.com/forum/showt...OPEN-FOR-VOTES

[Killer Aries]

Genocide, not a huge fan of your writing style. It seems you think by using a bigger vocabulary and focusing on your rhyme scheme that you'll get the win. No. Maybe in audio, but not in a topical battle. It's about writing something to complete the Topic. You don't go in depth enough. Your imagery is lacking. There's no beginning, middle or end. It's just one big free verse and to people who haven't been doing Topicals that long -- it might get you a win. But to a topical vet that's been doing it since 2003. I gotta say you've got a lot to learn and improve on.

Tyson, your vocabulary could've been cleaner but I felt this was much more a topical than your opponent's. you had a storyline in some depth, had some solid imagery. I felt your rhyme scheme was simple, yet fluent and on point. Short and sweet to say the very least. I'd like to see a longer, more detailed topical from you and I'm sure I'll see it in the league. Keep at it.

Vote Tyson, overall better verse.

[Defiant]

3-1 TO TYSON

UPPING

[bleak]

Idk about Geno's verse, it seemed too wordy. Which, in effect, made it a tad difficult to read. Topical battles, most of the time, come down to what style of writing the voters lean towards. I enjoyed the words that you were using, your vocabulary is very good. I just don't think that all of it was relevant to what you were trying to get across. The writing capabilities are there, you have the skill. This piece just didn't wow me at any part through it. Like a chore, instead of a verse, if you get what I'm saying.

Tyson, I enjoyed reading the story that you had in your piece. A lot of times I can't even read a piece anymore if there isn't an underlying back story, a REASON that all of these words are being laid out. You did a good job of conveying the purpose of the verse. Your 'writing skills' could have been cleaner. By that, like vocab, wording, etc. But the way you wrote this piece made it an enjoyable read.

V/Tyson chicken fingers