WK10: Mr. J (5-4) vs. UnbornBuddha (5-3) [Unborn wins, 5-0.]

[King Ra.]

AOWL Season IV, Week 10


OFFICIAL RULES:

Verses are due Sunday, December 14th, 11:59p.m. PCT/2:59a.m. EST/7:59a.m. UK. There are NO extensions.

Verses MUST be a minimum 10 lines or a maximum of 48 lines (or 650 words).

Votes are due Wednesday, December 17th, 11:00p.m. PCT/8p.m. EST/4a.m. UK. Failure to vote will result in automatic sign out for the next week.


TOPIC: Nas- "You Can't Kill Me"




Good luck. @Mr. J @UnbornBuddha

[Mr. J]

You Can't Kill Me....

Because in spirit I thrive, through these poems & lyrics I write
your appearance is contrived..there is no pride as strong or fearless as mine
I was the original, when all they do now is just mirror & confide
give it up for the weirdest surprise, that was predetermined, clearly devised
all you can do is cheer for the blind, foresight is not nearly defined
they believe in themselves & must truly believe in the inquiry by design...
regardless...I'm the hardest working artist from the dearly departed
my heart is in the art, it's perfected to the point I work without logic..
I make the mind a target that thwarted the threat of your subconscious
cornered the market and evolved it as I rose as it's benevolent prophet
this is how started, a mental plane charted directly to the tropics
widening the range of topics from the hottest that my humidity made them nauseous...
to the point they wanted to stop it...bury it deep, bury this tell tale heart
where they thought if I trailed off, I wouldn't see the face behind the mask, a failed art...
of deception, I'm stressin', but this style is where I currently make my bed in
another lesson learned, your blessings earned otherwise get your obsessions burnt
placed on a mantle & kept in urns, kept in earnest minds awaiting the future
waiting for the moment for me to be the loser, but I live on through average text user...
your average nerd of the computer, input, output, the hidden gem that's word to Bermuda
I live on through the depths & cracks, not a writer alive that will be objecting that...

[UnbornBuddha]

“You can’t kill me” ”- Nas

An amorphous blob is the image of my canvas,
Interpretive in its abstract, mystery laden.
I exist as a phantom, a mere mist of the stratus.
The opposite of Casper, maggots afflict me with dampness,
An abandoned ghost who lives in an attic. Rotting…
Emitting a bubonic apocalypse in my shadow
Reflected when a flame is a lid in a candle
And I’m close to it- that I’m fathomed.
In a mythical fashion, every time I’m a spotted I’m listed unwanted.
I could drift the planet, but my sight is fixed on this address;
A specific attachment I can’t shed in my spiritual practice.
Every time I try to let go & halt it, an itch for it happens,
A thorn-like sensation whose prick keeps me captive.
I must forgive he who killed me to shift my atoms.
Beautify the sails of my ship, oh captain.

The gist of my task is to dig through my memory stratum
Find out why destiny bonded me as an entity haunting.
Yet, every layer of entry is energetically graphic,
So much so, they make me mentally spasm,
Causing my ectoplasm to be chemically active
My pigmentation begins to collectively ashen,
I eventually Jaundice, and grow desperately rabid
Nevertheless, how sick & vapid I am, Eternity’s passing.
The afterlife for me isn’t a heavenly palace
It’s just another shape, a gaseous solid.
Matter can’t be destroyed, that’s a cosmic promise,
The pit of Lazarus constant, though its value is nonsense
Apparitions like me have no valor accomplished.
I wonder what the Karma stored in my pelvis is after.
Perhaps, it’s so I can transcend being helpless, a martyr.
I won’t be free until I melded with laughter besting this chapter,
So I can move on uncontaminated without the heaviest matter.
Become a rainbow of every color, an elemental starburst.
Consciousness metamorphosis requires a shift in atoms
So I can become as precious as the Ribs of Adam .
Yet,
As years pass, I feel a growing distance from the answer.
The bliss of the passions keeps me from visiting an Abbess,
Where exorcisms by mediums release spirits that are asking.
A rite to paradise that isn’t present in my ghoulish afterlife
My inner sacrament was ruined after I
Became a human sacrifice…

Frankincense cannot purify this Frankenstein.
Ostracized due to the appearance of my osteocytes.
The acidity in my system needs to alkalize, calcify.
And the only way is to visit the evil Geezer,
Who ransacked me lethal, like thieves did to the Giza.
Though I didn’t die, because everything turns to ether,
Despite previous disappointments,
The spirit’s aura does not stiffen into Rigor mortis.
Maelstrom escorts it into virile courting.
Until it flourishes ready to tackle bigger stories
One that doesn't involve sacrilegious morals
Tribulations stagnates souls only when will and vigor turbid.
Time’s eternal seekers forage meaning despite evil’s torrent.
Mental triggers spurring me to incant my freedom chorus
Despite still not finishing my journey… I’m still transforming.

[NYCSPITZ]

J's was hot, seems like it'd be ill spoken word or audio. I thought the opening couplet had strong energy and the tropics line was hot. I know you can do better though and wish you would've built a more centralized theme or story rather than fragmented braggadocio to flesh it out more. Overall a solid 20.

Unborn took a creative twist and I enjoyed the perspective of a ghost chained to the ephemeral appearance of matter upon this holy earth. It seems buddha opened his third eye on this one in order to unleash a bit of creativity in story form. Dope shit and overall felt you brought more to the table this time.

V/ Buddha

[Arid]

Mr. J, disjointed. You started out strong, the rhyme scheme even came off as a more polished version of your opponents style. I was impressed, at first. What happened somewhere near the middle, is the connection to the topic blurred and disapeared altogether.

Unborn Buddha, direct. You stuck to the topic throughout, which helped me understand some of your more awkward word choices. What really got me interested was your inconsistent rhyme scheme that connected back to itself in powerful ways.

Vote, Unborn. Your verse connected well with the topic, but more than that, the rhyme scheme was inventive. J veered off topic and didn't push the boundaries of his rhyme as wellas UB.

[Pent uP]

Mr j -- I think its funny you had a grammatical error in the line about being an online user towards the end. Missed a word in another spot or two too. I think you tried too much to make it seem grandiose while minimally alluding to what it was. Kind of like that. I feel like clarity is important to a degree, and to be ambiguous you have to create the allure of something, and I did not find that here.

unborn -- creative. I like what ive been reading from you. Tiresome with the word choice sometimes, but definitely creative. Flow was abrupt at points, but spot on at others...around the Adam reference I really thought this would take a turn for the religious and I groaned, but I was satisfied to see the outcome not as such. Again, creative direction and solid.

Vote unborn

[Frank]

Mr J

Braggadocio shit brah. I enjoyed the tenacious tenacity of your self reflective rally cry. Egocentric, it came off with a similar vibe to 'you can hate me now'. Cool stuff, superficial

Unborn Buddah
A rampant rampage of slaughterous proportions. I will go out of my way to say this was border line epic.

Vote: Unborn Buddah

[CopyPat]

this wasn't the best battle..
j your verse was easily readable but u really didn't say anything. i think u got stuck on the topic, which has been my feeling the last 3 or 4 weeks. just not knowing what to write and ultimately just putting Something down. that's how this felt...

bhudda, this verse was fatiguing to read, not only in actual length but also just in the way it was worded. a lot of stops and starts, was not a smooth verse. content wise though, you clearly did more with the topic.

Buddha takes it this time.