Staples

[oats]

maybe it's this city-livin, maybe it's the winter weather
maybe I'm just a foreigner who can't determine if it's better
to listen steady or be pigheaded, shit is heavy written clever
a cracked soul, black hole, my mind's designed for interstellar
rhymes are primed for missions never fully dressed for presentation
so excuse me if this loose leaf gives a fuck for expert delegation
still I'm determined, set for levitation, shouldering stress
too cold to let the holster nest my oldest regrets
so I hold em stretched across my chest, own em and flex
an acumen of Sachs - both Goldman and Jeff

I've learned no man inspires hate like the man who demands love
and the planet's entire weight is a gavel that slams -
plus, too many hunger for a seat at the table, the ravenous land stuck
I'd rather let hunger strike and stay famished to stand up
life's a feast of absurdity, I'm far too sheepish for certainty
wisdom is subtle, stupid's confident - the peaceful need urgency
I've inherited the Earth, this is meek on a murder spree
but to get a point across I gotta speak in hyperbole

they say environment picks up for where genetics are careless
meaning "you" are just a mixture of your friends and your parents
any sense of awareness boasted is illogical strides
life's a stage of nurtured monologues and genomic asides
I wanna be honest in spite the lack of plaques that I've captured
I'm god, son - God's son - getting whipped out back from the Master
leaning on the back of Erasmus, moral fiber that could pass as elastic
patterned and axiomatic - callous in the casuistic paths of his palate

if I retract all my answers, the questions remain
so keep repeating "fuck the world" like a lecher's refrain
no pressure to be prescient - nothing's more precious than pain
less is more, more or less, so bless the sects who abstain

[UnbornBuddha]

An excellent showing, indeed. I notice that interstellar has become quite the topic as of late, for many individuals whose minds are geared toward the progressive dictum of our times. Times, I might add, that are unfolding the vast possibilities that are therein contained in the spherical space of our innate machinery we call the processes of our life, and its biological and psychoneurological capacities. This had a moralistic value imprinted into its letters, but it also was not riddled with the treatises of religious discourse, instead it seemed to implore the individualistic need or want to find a dimensional purpose that transcends the limitations of humanity. Albeit, I feel that in your third stanza you sidetracked and embarked into the shackles of historical mental slavery. Albeit, you did touch on epigenetics, which of course one can contend, that slavery is part of the epigenetic structural influence.

The last section begins to show the folly in searching it seems. Not to say you shun the forward movement of our steps, but rather you refrain away from the insistent theoretical value we put onto answering that which we are still baffled by. It is best to continue exploring, while questioning the very bonds that hold our world together, so as to be able to discover perhaps new ones that may not replace this ones, but adds to the understanding that propels our captivity composed of our limitations forward close to oblivion.

I quite enjoyed it, thank you.

[Pharaohs Army]

I've got to say that this is impressive.
Structurally I admire the way you choose to break up your lines, helping the flow. Something I'm currently working
on.
This part entertained me the most and was dope:
they say environment picks up for where genetics are careless
meaning "you" are just a mixture of your friends and your parents
any sense of awareness boasted is illogical strides
life's a stage of nurtured monologues and genomic asides

^The ending metaphor ties together the first couplet succinctly and cleverly. Plus the rhymes are very good.

[Illume]

Fuck, this is clever.

[PancakeBrah]

This was dope.

"a cracked soul, black hole, my mind's designed for interstellar
rhymes are primed for missions never fully dressed for presentation"

Ok, CopyPat. HOW MANY SYLLABLES DO YOU NEED TO RHYME!?

This really picked up after the first section. Not that that was bad, I just feel that the following three were on a different level. Maybe because I felt the point of the piece started from the second section on. Maybe I missed something, but the first section seemed a little out of place. Less conscious and pointed. It also included the only phrasing that seemed clunky (heavy written clever). Solid, but outdone by what followed.

"I've learned no man inspires hate like the man who demands love
and the planet's entire weight is a gavel that slams -
plus, too many hunger for a seat at the table, the ravenous land stuck
I'd rather let hunger strike and stay famished to stand up"

Finishing the second line's rhyme at the beginning of the third is the kind of stuff I really enjoy. Lets the reader know your cadence, adds something to it. Something that someone who skims through won't catch. This whole section was smooth. You're dropping some knowledge, but it doesn't come off as preachy due to the "I've learned" start. It allows the reader to disagree; it's just your perspective. Where people fail in pieces like this is they just present their thoughts and it comes off like they're stating them as fact. You're just providing an opinion. 'Ravenous land stuck' was good wording.

"life's a feast of absurdity, I'm far too sheepish for certainty"

Probably the standout line to me. Mostly because I agree with the sentiment, and it was executed well.

"they say environment picks up for where genetics are careless
meaning "you" are just a mixture of your friends and your parents
any sense of awareness boasted is illogical strides
life's a stage of nurtured monologues and genomic asides"

Bolded was well put. The other thoughts in this quote are well-trodden but the writing helped make it palatable and somewhat fresh.

"if I retract all my answers, the questions remain
so keep repeating "fuck the world" like a lecher's refrain
no pressure to be prescient - nothing's more precious than pain
less is more, more or less, so bless the sects who abstain"

Good ending, good ending line. 'nothing's more precious than pain' reminds me of deadman's "Static" piece. Check it out. You guys would be friends.

So the whole vibe I caught was that people really don't know shit. And thinking that you do is laughable. Also, there were hints of predetermination (with the genetics/nuture/parents/friends stuff). I just generally agreed with what you were saying, which always makes a piece more enjoyable. The mechanics and technical skill were, as usual, top tier.

Thanks for the read!