*crumbles paper*

Clayray · 09-08-2015, 02:06 PM

Your greatest accomplishments are my worst decisions
I'm at the top of the building chilling
you stuck at the bottom just wishin..
..but if we switched positions it wouldn't make a difference
cause I'll climb back to the top
knock you off then act like we didn't..
..why you actin so different, thought you supported local artist
I'm grinding my hardest to make it to super stardom
you're stupid so pardon me..
..I ought to be, signing autographs
we hear your music an do nothin more than laugh
but I'm sorta more than mad..
..you've rapped for 2 months
I've wrote my whole life this is more than a fad
you think I'm straight out of philly the way I go in my bag
isn't this sad.

I'm rapping circles around this rapping circus
you actors just worthless I'll come back to spit a verse then
actually murder a person
..it kinda hurts when
I hear rappers lie to the fans about some pies and some grams
it's time to wake up now! it's just a scam
so fuck being with the in-crowd, y'all out of touch with reality
why would I want a bunch of mini mes surrounding me
my crew we do our own thing
but come together when we kill a target
we bad boys for life
ride and die together like Will n Martin
I say what's on my mind and you love it cause it's real
you can't trust anybody.. Even God setup is own son to get killed
don't come from the hood.. but mean scenes I was facing
I got skeletons in my closet
... You think they're Halloween decorations
plus I heard the good die young
so shit I'll probably love forever
and my grandma still prays, like I ain't did nothin ever
so I get on my knees with her.
begging god just listen like.. sorry I only call when I'm in a fucked up position

Flow · 09-08-2015, 07:19 PM

Faggot of the year 2015.... Love coming back after a long hiatus and seeing so many people who have been persecuted in my absence

This was a good read content wise, you kept me somewhat engaged and I like pieces that seem somewhat genuine, I could believe this was you venting anyway. Which is good.

You could mix up the vocab a bit more, try some more complex rhyme schemes, think it would do wonders for your work. Just don't sacrifice the content for it

Blaccalicious · 09-09-2015, 02:11 PM

Dope..wasnt feelin the first verse but that 2nd verse bodied the 1st..

my crew we do our own thing
but come together when we kill a target
we bad boys for life
ride and die together like Will n Martin
I say what's on my mind and you love it cause it's real
you can't trust anybody.. Even God setup is own son to get killed
don't come from the hood.. but mean scenes I was facing
I got skeletons in my closet
... You think they're Halloween decorations

One of the rawest lines Ive ever heard.... halloween decorations.. Im mad I aint think up that shit.

09-08-2015, 02:06 PM	#1
Clayray 6ft of Seperation Join Date: Aug 2010 Posts: 1,541 Battle Record: 3-5 Champed - Faggot of the Year (2015) Rep Power: 0	*crumbles paper* Your greatest accomplishments are my worst decisions I'm at the top of the building chilling you stuck at the bottom just wishin.. ..but if we switched positions it wouldn't make a difference cause I'll climb back to the top knock you off then act like we didn't.. ..why you actin so different, thought you supported local artist I'm grinding my hardest to make it to super stardom you're stupid so pardon me.. ..I ought to be, signing autographs we hear your music an do nothin more than laugh but I'm sorta more than mad.. ..you've rapped for 2 months I've wrote my whole life this is more than a fad you think I'm straight out of philly the way I go in my bag isn't this sad. I'm rapping circles around this rapping circus you actors just worthless I'll come back to spit a verse then actually murder a person ..it kinda hurts when I hear rappers lie to the fans about some pies and some grams it's time to wake up now! it's just a scam so fuck being with the in-crowd, y'all out of touch with reality why would I want a bunch of mini mes surrounding me my crew we do our own thing but come together when we kill a target we bad boys for life ride and die together like Will n Martin I say what's on my mind and you love it cause it's real you can't trust anybody.. Even God setup is own son to get killed don't come from the hood.. but mean scenes I was facing I got skeletons in my closet ... You think they're Halloween decorations plus I heard the good die young so shit I'll probably love forever and my grandma still prays, like I ain't did nothin ever so I get on my knees with her. begging god just listen like.. sorry I only call when I'm in a fucked up position __________________ GraveyardShift

09-08-2015, 07:19 PM	#2
Flow Upset Champion Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: West Mids Posts: 3,861 Battle Record: 57-49 Accomplishments - 50 Wins Champed - BA Rookie Tourney - 1-2 Punch League (x2) - Pandemonium Cypher - 1-2 Punch league Season 9 Rep Power: 24894581	Faggot of the year 2015.... Love coming back after a long hiatus and seeing so many people who have been persecuted in my absence This was a good read content wise, you kept me somewhat engaged and I like pieces that seem somewhat genuine, I could believe this was you venting anyway. Which is good. You could mix up the vocab a bit more, try some more complex rhyme schemes, think it would do wonders for your work. Just don't sacrifice the content for it

09-09-2015, 02:11 PM	#3
Blaccalicious Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2015 Posts: 12 Rep Power: 0	Dope..wasnt feelin the first verse but that 2nd verse bodied the 1st.. my crew we do our own thing but come together when we kill a target we bad boys for life ride and die together like Will n Martin I say what's on my mind and you love it cause it's real you can't trust anybody.. Even God setup is own son to get killed don't come from the hood.. but mean scenes I was facing I got skeletons in my closet ... You think they're Halloween decorations One of the rawest lines Ive ever heard.... halloween decorations.. Im mad I aint think up that shit.