10-19-2015, 01:44 AM | #1 |
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Week 17: Vulgar vs. Innovator - (Vulgar)
LGPA Season 1: Week 17
Check ins: Thursday (Midnight Eastern time) Poems Due: Friday (Midnight Eastern time) Votes due: Sunday (Midnight Eastern time) Topic: GHAZAL Best of luck to both competitors. Bring your best poetry forth unto us, the readers. |
10-19-2015, 03:38 AM | #2 |
...DA GAWD...
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10-19-2015, 09:24 AM | #3 |
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In
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10-23-2015, 06:49 PM | #4 |
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Ghazal: A Tourist's Straits
Dream vacations can be a laxative, although -morn after, dimmed senses may be followed by an ellipsis Traveling across oceans with the right woman can be gratifying, too bad she's out for homicide, followed by an ellipsis Mrs. Hyperbole was walking home from the grocery store suddenly stalked by a gang of Adjectives, followed by an Ellipsis Adventure is a sweet tooth to a chimera, both cunning and crimson, high fever on hand, followed by an ellipsis Once slept facing a hostel wall, amidst spies in the robes Naturally, I was short on words, breath, followed by an ellipsis London Customs flagged me for suspicious dialogue The passport customs form said "Denied!" followed by an ellipsis I do recommend seafare - lifeboats with strange monikers embarked on a ghost ship? hope it's followed by The Ellipsis Last edited by Vulgar; 10-23-2015 at 07:01 PM. |
10-24-2015, 11:15 PM | #5 |
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Call me daisy call me flower
Keep it soft, sweetvand sour Bleeding black i ink my tshirt Call me rooted calm and branched Dandy lion roars keep me up at night Poppy seeds pumping heart alouf and bright Oak filled lungs, cider heart pumping %10 Call me rooted keeped me branched Bleeding tonge spewing wine on labor days Bloated spine floating swine along the pigs Breeding sin and keeping sins Call me fooled or call me angst These rooted branches |
10-25-2015, 09:09 PM | #6 |
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Innovator drank too much root beer and basically ditched the whole idea. Whole idea was to write a GHAZAL. Vulgar put up a sample sheet with examples and everything. Don't feel like you should be a moderator but rather just a participant. As for the Poem, again, just too much root beer.
Vulgar, it's a shame this battle cannot be broken down accordingly due to the automatic default victory by default. I thought how you Used Ellipses was creative, referring to it as a sunset, a punctuation mark, than focusing on the lip in ellipses. Was an original piece. MVGT Vulgar
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10-26-2015, 12:36 AM | #7 |
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The theme this week was a Ghazal format, thus one writer wrote in the format, another didn't, thus he gets the vote.
Vulgar piece was creative, and had its highlights, some lines read very stanch, an obstruction that arose due to being wounded in the sense of rhythm and the turn of phrase was sometimes too sudden without any prize after the shift. In other words, the altercations shifted sometimes too violently, some lines were pretty in the poetic sense, I just felt some lines read unnatural. Ghazal are in a way odes, hymns, so there's a sing-song rhythm to them from my understanding. Vote: Vulgar |
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