Final Four: #4 Razah vs. #8 VividlyVague - Vividly vague wins

[Adonis]

Verse due Monday December 7th 11:59 Pacific or 2:59 AM (Tuesday) Eastern


Voting ends when there is a winner.

I expect you each to drop a vote quickly and hopefully get some momentum on that subject

[e11even]

Yossssss. Trippy, mane.

[Razah]

word

[e11even]

I fucked the shit out my lady then got to popping some pills.
Cheesing, feeling myself as if I was copping a feel.
Found a baggy of shrooms and figured I'll zone in fa reeeeaaaal,
An hour later I'm rolling papers to pull off my peel.
Different colors emerged, immersed, I was losing my mind.
My feet were rapidly shrinking, thinking, "Shit, it's about time!"
The world around me got bigger- each second slowed double time,
And now I'm centimeters tall and all my carpet is pines!
Green shag, human flea swag, I trek through this forest.
A clean pass round my my flea bag cat was important.
That Cretan could've just eaten me, man that beast was enormous!
Parting braided greenery, I came across tribal forces.
Shroom duplexes with dew drop Lexuses, they were living it!
I was vexed and guessed that I could get next to them and start stealing shit!
"How's it hangin, fuckers!" I'm wagging fingers to flip em off.
Kicking in the doors to grab dinner biscuits to piss em off!
The Fuzz is licking off, fungal pistols of pollen pods.
Irie colors distort my vision, force-pushed em to block the shots.
I'm faded, ain't no hiatus. The muchies? I had the lot...
Drunk and high, acid tripping, I'm spinning, snatching the crops.
Total chaos! I'm rousing the tribal villagers n' wrecking house.
"Vivid, you're a menace! You're headed onto the Pecking Couch!"
The death sentence is near as I'm tethered down, "Bitches, let me out!"
I woke up on the cushions, my lady giving me mouth to mouth.
Lit up on that 'cid I bounced up, rowdy and stuffed,
But still hungry as a bitch, "Hey, what are we having for lunch?"
"It's midnight. You still hungry?!"
"Yep. My trip was solid as fuck!"
She stared at me, "What trip? You slept right after the nut.


Dumbass."

[Razah]

My soul collided with stars in this journey of mine
Life was beauty like making these words intertwine
I saw the truth & it wasn't what it actually was
Made my conscious expand the same way a galaxy does
The truth is vivid & vague like a curse that is blessed
If the hunger continues it'll be served from our flesh
Something changed over time, they exalted us plenty
Still they placed us in tiers which resulted in many
I felt one with the world now I'm surviving a threat
My heart didn't beat but I felt the light in my chest
We're one in the same yet they enlighten the monster
They realized the truth, time to divide us & conquer
Freedom or the power to reign? We'll swim in a grave
Energy spreads & you don't realize all the ripples it makes
Now we lust what we lost, yet it's all but bizarre
What is the difference, we're made by the same dust from the stars
Five minutes til doom, depends how you interpret your time
There's no need for the darkness once we emerge from the light
But- Can we maintain the presence of the greatest essence
It'll be a beautiful film if we start with that frame of reference
A life that was made for legends, we were meant to do good
Amazed by the trip that I took when I never left where I stood
Back to life as I know it, see the beauty like lines from a poet
Since the collision between my soul & the stars- My mind has been opened

[asylum]

vv - this was doope lol you got lucky with the topic this week! I really liked the scene when you shrank, the way you described it was pretty dope. "Green shag, human flea swag," lol.. that was just too perfect. flow started really goin off about halfway through, but what the fuck is a pecking couch? sounds like a Chinese dish... for.. uh, couch eaters. i like how you described the shrinking scene because once i ate some mucks and saw some shit like that, this laundry basket got like 100 stories tall on me it was a trip. story was kinda funny but "it was just a dream" isn't the most original approach. You should'nt have dropped so early and developed this a bit more. I really liked this line..

The Fuzz is licking off, fungal pistols of pollen pods.

the alliteration helped out your flow immensely. i think it worked well with the end rhymes that came right before it, good use of mechanics. the missing N in munchies is plauging me but that's kinda petty to vote on. I've woke up from a dope ass dream still somewhat convinced it was real and got some awkward reactions, so the story is believable enough. dope ass piece man, brief, but entertaining.

razah - well, this kind of bounces around ... you didn't really dive too deep into any of your concepts, but you worded it nicely. You went from talking about philosophy, then onto some mysterious "they," figures, who placed you in tiers for an unexplained reason. anyway, that's pretty much the direction you went.. without picking it apart further. I really enjoyed the line about conscious expanding like a galaxy does, that flowed real nice. everything else between was nice, but I particularly enjoyed this bar..

Now we lust what we lost, yet it's all but bizarre
What is the difference, we're made by the same dust from the stars

your last lines were pretty sick too man. I think this piece was really good, but you needed a little bit more story structure. pretty much nailed it as a topical, but I truly was looking for something more.

/mvgt VV I enjoyed both pieces about as much as one another and with some structure razah could've EASILY taken this. I just think VV wrote to the topic a little more effectively.

[UnbornBuddha]

I liked both of this verses for different reasons. But, I expected more from the semi-match.

Vividly was humorous and i liked the humor of it, it was done so in a way that didn't make the piece feel cliche. Especially with twists at the end, they have to be done in a very specific manner so as to not ruin the piece with too much of a derivation from a surprise. Conceptually it wasn't the most interstellar piece, in terms of creativity. In fact, the topic is pretty obvious when it comes to the picture, but it was playfully well done, and then with the twist it ended in a funny manner. Perhaps, that's why the twist worked well because it was humorous and did not take away from the story, it still casted a dream like sense to the story.

Razah: The flow was really smooth, this was a nice written piece. I thought it was humorous and bold to call out your opponent, I myself have also done so, but in a more subtle way. I don't have a problem, you executed that tactic well. Also, I too was confused with who "they" was. And having read it 3-4 times now I still don't get it, I mean I can derive that it connects to the "we're" but contextually this still had no bearing in the trajectory of the story. It added confusion and felt off, even if it made somewhat sense it still added unnecessary disorderly wording into the piece. The concept you spoke about wasn't the most imaginative either, per se. Yet, it was more grand than Vividly, who was more terrestrially inclined. You spoke of fusion and unison with the stars and the spirit of man. The concept still is a good one, it has a lot of power in it. However, I did feel you didn't really unravel much in the sense of something happening narrative wise. Now while, this seemed to be your intention, made clear by the "never left where it stood" it still made the piece kind of static. Which, I comprehend was your intention, but nevertheless I still felt unsatisfied with what happened, there really wasn't a why behind everything, or a who really. Yes, there this was I, but there was no background to the I, which might have been your intention due to abolishing of the I, in terms of a coalesced synthesis with others to form a we. Overall, though this still was nice.

I'm going to go with the one I felt was more poignantly written. Even, though Razah has themes I like more I felt they could have been explored more, and Vividly had an undeniable humorous take, that though not conceptually impressive, at least to me, still manage to leave an impressionable sketch upon finishing it.

Vote: Vividlyvague

[MMLP]

Before I start analysing, I want both of you to win the entire thing, two underdogs in a league of solid writers imo, never expected you 2 get here. Go and get it!

VV – haha cool twist, im warming to ur style a bit more and I am accepting it which I never thought I could lol. Technically sound, nicely condensed. This was a good read. It was all well executed towards the big twist at the end. Comes together nicely. Very good

Razza – LOL @ you dropping your opponent’s names. I’d LOVE to battle you and see how u could tie in MMLP (a verse about the Rap God maybe on the cards haha).MAKE IT HAPPEN MODS!!!!
Very smooth read. it read better than VV’s imo. Pretty sure u’ve used the same concept as VV though (its all an illusion whilst intoxicated) obvs without realising (so im not accusing u of biting). It was a lot more subtle and harder to grasp but without any real definitive clue to suggest this. It kinda makes it hard for me to give u the win!

hold on .. this line HAS to be definitive! surely

“Amazed by the trip that I took when I never left where I stood”

sticking my neck out on this one v/Raz (sorry if im wrong)
Good luck to the both of ya

sincerely, MMLP

[YDK]

I'm voting vivid
Short vote my apologies just trying to help put.
Vivids verse while having a very crisp flow good imagery and even humor did start off with what I personally thought was weak wording but was able to bring it all together after the first couple lines. Dope shit
Razah had a more poetic feel which is what I usually prefer but some of the wording was off and the rhymes didn't quite click for me. The flow was solid but not quite as crisp as vvs. A cool verse overall but felt vivid was able to pull it off with a slightly stronger verse.
Dope shit guys

[Frank]

TLDR

JK

MVGT VV

Edited By: Adonis - Not Sufficient