Netcees  

Go Back   Netcees > Forum > Open Mic Section
Register FAQ Community Calendar Today's Posts Search

User Tag List

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 01-03-2016, 02:12 AM   #1
YDK
ghost in the matrix
 
YDK's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Covington, KY
Posts: 4,563
Battle Record: 14-25


Champed
- Art of Writing League (x2)
- Lime Green Poetry Association

Rep Power: 8181113
YDK has a brilliant futureYDK has a brilliant futureYDK has a brilliant futureYDK has a brilliant futureYDK has a brilliant futureYDK has a brilliant futureYDK has a brilliant futureYDK has a brilliant futureYDK has a brilliant futureYDK has a brilliant futureYDK has a brilliant future
Default nothin

Enveloped in the precious essence that we reference as time,
Standing still, hold your breath till the next step; divine.
Divided we fall,
Pick and choose your side till they've divided us all
And we're left behind as reminders that you're the blindest of all.
The kindest; appalled!
That you could erase the writings of the signs on the walls
And leave us here with nothing but a line as a pulse.
History repeats, a pantomime that's ignored,
An apparition of sorts when social tradition aborts
The very values that they've valued till they're devalued by force.
What's the price of a life?
What is its actual worth?
When its being judged by birthdays and impractical mirth
Instead of the accomplishments that have helped shape the earth!
Time is precious, time is priceless, but time can corrupt,
Because you take your time for granted till you can't get enough
And you realize life is over and you start looking up
To the heavens for a sign of a higher being to love.
Now this path that I'm on leaves me wanting for more,
Nearly 30 years old with a family in store
But only a few contributions to this world I've adored.
My mark on this path through life and time itself
Is showing compassion and often offering help
So as I embrace the life around me I know my perception could be blurred
I'll leave my memories to my children; in the shape of my words.
__________________
YDK is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-03-2016, 05:03 AM   #2
Adonis
Tsk Tsk
 
Adonis's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Beer Goggles
Posts: 4,834
Battle Record: 36-34


Champed
- Lime Green Poetry Association
- NFL Pick'em 2016-17

Rep Power: 9946449
Adonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant future
Default

Good shit. Opening scheme was simply destroyed. Overall topic, though feminine in all honesty, was actually nice. You got your point across while not becoming stale or stagnant. You kept flow moving while touching many subjects, thus, holding intrigue. Enjoyable read to say the least
__________________
I'm tryna fuck like A-don-is

TUPAC SHAKUR
Adonis is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 01:16 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
User Alert System provided by Advanced User Tagging (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2025 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
Google+