Just a little somethin' somethin'

Flow · 01-30-2013, 07:18 AM

yo listen g's i blissfully flow with ease kill similes feel the villainy
with tyranny i show no sympathy i flow like a symphony - efficiently
with acidity burn down bars an escapee viciously show pigs hostility persistently
instantly hit the industry they reject me its a conspiracy luckily im insistent G

raised in philly so learned agility to hide from its morbidity you know it fam
flipancy? i flip into a one handed handstand an casually wave wit me other hand
no champ but know tramps from the motherland they sell my contraband fo goods canned
once unmanned decided to expand knew first hand workforce expendable in phillys lands

no one misses the homeless man now you understand why im feared in Kensington east
i was released i was unleashed mum wasnt pleased that the police refer to me as disease
but that is the squeeze an a title i gladly received as fear increased so did my feast
no David n Goliath you will get beat by this rabid beast jus check 600 East - Ontario Street

Yo this is jus me

this is how i roll

check it

yo

i spit quick with wit i knick slick from rick
n roll wit blades that are known to flick
dont take shit like gen dont take feeds from trip
im called the virus which proves im sick
dont speak i jus chat dont rhyme i just rap
dont knick i jus knack you hit me i hit back
i flow on any track what i have you jus lack
im all that while you are the definition of whack

maaaan

I love rap

Nigma · 01-30-2013, 07:34 AM

This was meh for me, really need to work on the complexity of your rhymes. The first section got very repetitive with the single syllable rhymes, like you just had a list of words you were trying to all fit together. My largest piece of advice would be attempting to rhyme more syllables at a time.

Flow · 01-30-2013, 07:43 AM

was a quick somethin somethin. Not meant to be very complex. thanks fo the feed fam.

Geno · 01-30-2013, 09:09 PM

Uppin

Split · 01-31-2013, 08:19 AM

Agree w/ rhyme complexity. Contraband for canned goods was a highlight for me. Try fucking around with rhyme patterns in the cypher. Keep keyin

Dope girl · 01-31-2013, 04:21 PM

Idk why staff closed battle thread, I was gonna drop verse & links. waste bars. anyway, This needs more complexity, flow, Creativity, & Mulits.

01-30-2013, 07:18 AM	#1
Flow Upset Champion Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: West Mids Posts: 3,861 Battle Record: 57-49 Accomplishments - 50 Wins Champed - BA Rookie Tourney - 1-2 Punch League (x2) - Pandemonium Cypher - 1-2 Punch league Season 9 Rep Power: 24894578	Just a little somethin' somethin' yo listen g's i blissfully flow with ease kill similes feel the villainy with tyranny i show no sympathy i flow like a symphony - efficiently with acidity burn down bars an escapee viciously show pigs hostility persistently instantly hit the industry they reject me its a conspiracy luckily im insistent G raised in philly so learned agility to hide from its morbidity you know it fam flipancy? i flip into a one handed handstand an casually wave wit me other hand no champ but know tramps from the motherland they sell my contraband fo goods canned once unmanned decided to expand knew first hand workforce expendable in phillys lands no one misses the homeless man now you understand why im feared in Kensington east i was released i was unleashed mum wasnt pleased that the police refer to me as disease but that is the squeeze an a title i gladly received as fear increased so did my feast no David n Goliath you will get beat by this rabid beast jus check 600 East - Ontario Street Yo this is jus me this is how i roll check it yo i spit quick with wit i knick slick from rick n roll wit blades that are known to flick dont take shit like gen dont take feeds from trip im called the virus which proves im sick dont speak i jus chat dont rhyme i just rap dont knick i jus knack you hit me i hit back i flow on any track what i have you jus lack im all that while you are the definition of whack maaaan I love rap

01-30-2013, 09:09 PM	#4
Geno White Earl Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Philly Cat. Posts: 12,325 Battle Record: 10-15 Accomplishments - Open Mic HOF (4x) Champed - Netcees Writers League - Write Week I - Write Week 8 Rep Power: 50036758	Uppin __________________ *-A.bove T.he R.est*

01-31-2013, 08:19 AM	#5
Split . Join Date: Aug 2013 Posts: 8,904 Battle Record: 27-22 Rep Power: 85899395	Agree w/ rhyme complexity. Contraband for canned goods was a highlight for me. Try fucking around with rhyme patterns in the cypher. Keep keyin __________________ http://split8.yolasite.com

01-30-2013, 07:34 AM	#2
Nigma The COAT... Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: BC, Canada Posts: 1,724 Battle Record: 28-20 Champed - Art of Writing League (x3) Rep Power: 4595810	This was meh for me, really need to work on the complexity of your rhymes. The first section got very repetitive with the single syllable rhymes, like you just had a list of words you were trying to all fit together. My largest piece of advice would be attempting to rhyme more syllables at a time.

01-30-2013, 07:43 AM	#3
Flow Upset Champion Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: West Mids Posts: 3,861 Battle Record: 57-49 Accomplishments - 50 Wins Champed - BA Rookie Tourney - 1-2 Punch League (x2) - Pandemonium Cypher - 1-2 Punch league Season 9 Rep Power: 24894578	was a quick somethin somethin. Not meant to be very complex. thanks fo the feed fam.

01-31-2013, 04:21 PM	#6
Dope girl Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: I live in Florida Posts: 4,706 Battle Record: 3-8 Rep Power: 55521416	Idk why staff closed battle thread, I was gonna drop verse & links. waste bars. anyway, This needs more complexity, flow, Creativity, & Mulits.