14 line BANGER!

Geno · 02-03-2013, 01:53 PM

Mutated mechanics left me levels above, but its never enough
Cause my devils currupt, try raising hell and I'll settle the grudge
I've meddled with guns, firearms from small ones ranging to big
That'll send the slugs at your house like its raining and shit
Ill leave your mind changed and convinced, I can tell you were frontin
I go to work with the flame everyday like a welder or something
It'll melt your assumptions and leave you stuffed in a coffin
The allen knight abreviations great for cutting your losses
Afraid there's nothin but softness and that is totally fine
But when these shells are to your head you'll hear the ocean inside
There's no devotion in rhymes the way it used to be done
My verse has more fire power than neighbor uses in one
But I ain't usually pumped to hear them raps about rockets
the chrome lines don't shine unless their actually polished

voidformula · 02-04-2013, 05:35 PM

Those last 2 lines, best by far, in my opinion. It's hard to make flex shit sound unique, which I think was the problem with this. Maybe it's just because I have a hate with the whole "evil/gruesome/edgy" scheme talking about devils and shit. I just think it's played out and a cheesy type of rap. Don't think I'm coming off as saying this whole piece was shit, it's still good and shows creativity. I just personally don't like that kind of subject matter and I think starting off with those first 2 lines set the bar low for me so by the time I hit the last 2, I wasn't blown away or amazed.

All in all, it's a personal issue I have, nothing against the piece. Last 2 lines we're solid as fuck IMO.

Natural · 01-04-2014, 07:16 AM

Bump

02-03-2013, 01:53 PM	#1
Geno White Earl Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Philly Cat. Posts: 12,325 Battle Record: 10-15 Accomplishments - Open Mic HOF (4x) Champed - Netcees Writers League - Write Week I - Write Week 8 Rep Power: 50036758	14 line BANGER! Mutated mechanics left me levels above, but its never enough Cause my devils currupt, try raising hell and I'll settle the grudge I've meddled with guns, firearms from small ones ranging to big That'll send the slugs at your house like its raining and shit Ill leave your mind changed and convinced, I can tell you were frontin I go to work with the flame everyday like a welder or something It'll melt your assumptions and leave you stuffed in a coffin The allen knight abreviations great for cutting your losses Afraid there's nothin but softness and that is totally fine But when these shells are to your head you'll hear the ocean inside There's no devotion in rhymes the way it used to be done My verse has more fire power than neighbor uses in one But I ain't usually pumped to hear them raps about rockets the chrome lines don't shine unless their actually polished __________________ *-A.bove T.he R.est*

02-04-2013, 05:35 PM	#2
voidformula Member Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 37 Rep Power: 35	Those last 2 lines, best by far, in my opinion. It's hard to make flex shit sound unique, which I think was the problem with this. Maybe it's just because I have a hate with the whole "evil/gruesome/edgy" scheme talking about devils and shit. I just think it's played out and a cheesy type of rap. Don't think I'm coming off as saying this whole piece was shit, it's still good and shows creativity. I just personally don't like that kind of subject matter and I think starting off with those first 2 lines set the bar low for me so by the time I hit the last 2, I wasn't blown away or amazed. All in all, it's a personal issue I have, nothing against the piece. Last 2 lines we're solid as fuck IMO.

01-04-2014, 07:16 AM	#3
Natural Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2013 Posts: 691 Rep Power: 0	Bump