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01-23-2014, 05:57 AM
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#1 |
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White Earl
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Philly Cat.
Posts: 12,354
Battle Record: 10-15
Accomplishments - Open Mic HOF (4x)
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Maintenance Man. FULL SONG + chorus. third verse is first.
Loving you was an easy design, easy as pie
Now I love you so much that it easts me alive You call it creepy and wrong, and that you see me at fault But I don't understand how you could fucking leave me at all You know you laugh when I'm there, and all the passions apparent Cause when I'm fucking you it's nothing you can pass as comparent You ask me to leave, please, its cause your ass in them jeans.. Is what you want me to grab when your sexy ass is asleep You can't hide the facts when I see it, but you calling me crazy When a couple months ago you took all of these babies But your already dating some fucking fagot who's cowardly Well ill be doing me whenever you come back to reality Cause I'm a maintenance man, who fucking hates this plan Who's gonna wait for you until his fucking patience can't!! ...Take it no more, im damn near game to abort Except for my daughter, she won't let me break anymore. Chorus 2x's Yo.. This love shit ain't a game Its been fucking with my brain Since I've met you and swept you, and you just left, you said F you! ..I ain't fuckin been the same This is crazy intense, I'm still stuck way in my head Never knew a love like this that would hate me to death Makes me depressed, thinkin bout her beautiful esssence Put a hole in my heart that made room for a tenant And the rent isnt cheap, but you gotta make you a plan Cause there's to much damage for a maintenance man Can't wait to fix what's broken, and your hopes are high But your love's one sided, and your hope's to die You've got a rope to climb, leaves your arms in knots You've fallen head over heels,, and its hard to stop From this awful drop, but I still need you as my wife I'd do it all again to, even though you've ruined my life Cause I stay true to my shit, feel we're born to connect but your killing me softly, and ima keep loyal til death This world is a mess, hoping you change after a while If your ever upset, I got your back with a laugh or a smile The physical attraction is wild, the girl of my dreams When I woke up though, you werent that important to me Chorus 2x's Yo.. This love shit ain't a game Its been fucking with my brain Since I've met you and swept you, and you just left, you said F you! ..I ain't fuckin been the same Everyone sings a sad song at somepoint in our lives When your hearts been torn out, with guns pointed inside Fuck it, form in a line, let's all kill a bitch to my words Drink liquer, drive drunk, and build bridges to burn If your sick and fuckin tired of living undesired Get high with a bigger assortment of different drugs than I am Until everything around you's a little more compliant Date rape a bitch and fucking figure four her hymen I'm a maintenance man nowadays, fixing broken hearts Choking broads, coke and mirrors, smoking stones of raw Open toes get razor bladed, jaded, broken toes get lost Walk it off now bitch, the same way you've blown me off All my love lost soldiers unite when I flow on the mic Or at the fucking tity bar where sluts choke on the pipe Where a couple bucks might get you laid for cheap Where the bitches doing drugs share the same pain as me But her pains only as deep as her pussy cavern is If your maintenance man to, fuck that trashy bitch!!! Chorus 2x's Yo.. This love shit ain't a game Its been fucking with my brain Since I've met you and swept you, and you just left, you said F you! ..I ain't fuckin been the same
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-A.bove T.he R.est |
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01-23-2014, 10:59 AM
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#2 |
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............
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 3,934
Battle Record: 3-3
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Loving you was an easy design, easy as pie
Now I love you so much that it easts me alive ^^You meant eat right? Good openin' tho. Cause I'm a maintenance man, who fucking hates this plan Who's gonna wait for you until his fucking patience can't!! ...Take it no more, im damn near game to abort Except for my daughter, she won't let me break anymore. ^^Chea. Open toes get razor bladed, jaded, broken toes get lost Walk it off now bitch, the same way you've blown me off ^^Lol. Nice shit man...I commented on the second verse already I think so I didn't pull out anything' from that section here.Great emotion is found in all 3 parts, and this would fly in audio...hated the chorus tho lol.It fits the verse just thought it was kinda dull in comparison to everythin' else, that's nitpickin' at it's finest tho as this is tight Geno...really liked it fam. Stay uppity. |
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01-23-2014, 03:45 PM
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#3 |
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White Earl
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Philly Cat.
Posts: 12,354
Battle Record: 10-15
Accomplishments - Open Mic HOF (4x)
Champed - Netcees Writers League
- Write Week I
- Write Week 8
Rep Power: 50036761 |
Thanks man. M not a big fan of the chorus yet either. Gotta twrk it some.. but it'll be catchy when it done
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-A.bove T.he R.est |
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01-23-2014, 10:28 PM
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#4 | |
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Junior Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8
Battle Record: 0-1
Rep Power: 0  |
The chorus seems kind of awkward but I feel you could salvage it.
Quote:
I love this right here. overall the verses flowed well and had good content but it lack multis which I would have liked to see more of but all in all this was sweet man. |
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01-23-2014, 10:36 PM
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#5 |
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Robin Williams of Fallen Victims
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,499
Battle Record: 25-11
Accomplishments - NC Hall of Fame
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Rep Power: 6862275 |
WTF?!^
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01-24-2014, 05:37 PM
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#6 | |
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obsessed
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: fucka idiyote
Posts: 5,709
Battle Record: Faggot-1
Accomplishments - can recite entirety of shrek 2
Champed - tangoed with spider man behind scenes in spider-man 2
- was candidate for gerber baby 3x
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- smush beer on head and didn't cry
- parallel parked in between 2 ferrari's in tonky truck once
- when saying pledge of allegiance i said "i don't" lmao deadass bb satan
- won tshirt from taco bell saying "taco cat" is the same backwards for filling out 500 surveys in a
- neighbor house caught on fire i call FIRE department and saved lives, was in newspaper
- set neighbor house on fire lmao
- fuck neighbor husband and wife
- first fish caught resembled david ortiz
- colin kaepernick
- related to genghis khan
- elected assistant to the vice president assistant to the president for regional chess club
- never lost game of hide and seek
Rep Power: 8599682 |
lol @ her sleeping in her jeans. This was cool. Very structured as always geno.
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