IIIIII-IIIIII-IIIIII

dead man · 02-03-2014, 09:43 PM

*

vilification, sensitive angels, simple equation
for ruling a nation - privilege, patience, business acquaintances
move or stagnation. be the victim or run
tacit or numb. feel claustrophobic while i'm collapsing your lungs
verified. there's no comparison. like berries and plums
antisocial. Erikson's epigenetic disjunct
buried amongst forget-me-nots and apes to the slaughter
beat Luciferian drums like @Genocide will play for his daughter
freedom to prosper, lead the composer, music is God
insert 60's lyric here as an indulgent homage
40 ounces, basement parties, puke in garages
translucent collages. this bowl is wet. we knew to be cautious
truly dishonest. i've cheated every time that we played
it's a sign of the times, sign of the culture, sign of the change
sign of my undeveloped egoist compulsive restraint
there's a dissonance that hits me when i'm boarding the train
rode to the lake. threw a stone at the water
lonely marauder. Self complexities divided to conquer
iAm the monster. homicide. altogether Doctor Hyde
rape concubines to compensate for middle school. the ostracized
philosophize, yeah fucking right. it's basic analysis
placed into passages. diamonds at the feet of a basilisk.
self-awareness is a curse that adolescence prescribed
focus on the Everybody. less on the I.

- BLACK

Wise Wiggles · 02-03-2014, 10:30 PM

da da deep

first glance at title I thought they were train tracks.
me likey

yaaaaaaaaaaay

dead man · 02-04-2014, 10:01 AM

they might be...

Eviscerate · 02-04-2014, 03:28 PM

couldn't get into this.

big baby · 02-04-2014, 08:47 PM

had a dull boy ring to it. almost wanted to say what evis said, but I rode through it. Dope.

Nigma · 02-04-2014, 09:46 PM

i was entertained. this is like a deadman branded s&f. didn't go deep into concepts but had more imagery in those lines then most do in twice the amount. collapsing your lung line seemed a bit cliche, especially that close to the beginning of the verse, but that's the only thing that stood out to me. different sorta drop but i was diggin in

Wise Wiggles · 02-04-2014, 11:35 PM

I liked all of this. It was different. There was splashes of wise sprinkled through out. From antisocial on was wild fire. Not sure I get the Erikson ref but I kinda get the point lol.. The end was that dope shit. If you don't like this you're a closed minded lame face. If don't like this you have a very short pepe. If you don't like this then I could ice pick your ear canal rather easily.

Fav part:

freedom to prosper, lead the composer, music is God
insert 60's lyric here as an indulgent homage
40 ounces, basement parties, puke in garages

^ MONEY

pm me sumthin to spit on

dead man · 02-05-2014, 12:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eviscerate

couldn't get into this.

Why not?

CopyPat · 02-05-2014, 04:53 PM

ha. this was different man. ur skill as a writer is off the charts, always able to word things and paint pictures incredibly and effortlessly smooth. dope. it was different to see you be a bit more aggressive, a little less sad and a little lesss giving of a fuck. even the lack of punctuation showed that, like u quickly wrote this (which i think u did) as apposed to most of ur shit which is crazy polished and looks like it took some serious time and thought. this one seemed more from the heart and just getting it off ur chest, i dug that. wording was great as usual. flow obv, originality all sick man. add another to the list. good lil post buds

dead man · 02-09-2014, 07:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pent uP

So I figured if frank can be a dbag and up his own shit without consequences then so can I

Pent uP · 02-09-2014, 07:35 PM

@dead man thanks for the feed

Aesthetic · 02-09-2014, 08:22 PM

Lyrically I felt what you put into it but wasn't really enjoying the flow. Felt like a spiral of repetitious meaning slandered with chaos. Not a diss, just how I picture it. I really enjoyed

Quote:

vilification, sensitive angels, simple equation
for ruling a nation - privilege, patience, business acquaintances
move or stagnation. be the victim or run

pretty to the point, positive influence but a negative take on it; that's what I feel when I play it outloud.

Toward

Quote:

lonely marauder. Self complexities divided to conquer

it picks up and get's me into the groove. But the beginning I felt didn't really belong. Nice work man, mind dropping my mic a peep? http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=51757

02-03-2014, 09:43 PM	#1
dead man living Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 3,467 Battle Record: 33-18 Accomplishments - Hall of Fame Champed - AOWL Season 1 - Art of Writing League - AOWL Season 4 - Write Week V - GWL Season 1 Rep Power: 77606676	IIIIII-IIIIII-IIIIII * vilification, sensitive angels, simple equation for ruling a nation - privilege, patience, business acquaintances move or stagnation. be the victim or run tacit or numb. feel claustrophobic while i'm collapsing your lungs verified. there's no comparison. like berries and plums antisocial. Erikson's epigenetic disjunct buried amongst forget-me-nots and apes to the slaughter beat Luciferian drums like @Genocide will play for his daughter freedom to prosper, lead the composer, music is God insert 60's lyric here as an indulgent homage 40 ounces, basement parties, puke in garages translucent collages. this bowl is wet. we knew to be cautious truly dishonest. i've cheated every time that we played it's a sign of the times, sign of the culture, sign of the change sign of my undeveloped egoist compulsive restraint there's a dissonance that hits me when i'm boarding the train rode to the lake. threw a stone at the water lonely marauder. Self complexities divided to conquer iAm the monster. homicide. altogether Doctor Hyde rape concubines to compensate for middle school. the ostracized philosophize, yeah fucking right. it's basic analysis placed into passages. diamonds at the feet of a basilisk. self-awareness is a curse that adolescence prescribed focus on the Everybody. less on the I. - BLACK __________________ Zack Wicks for president Last edited by dead man; 02-07-2014 at 04:20 PM.

02-03-2014, 10:30 PM	#2
Wise Wiggles nok Su kow Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,507 Battle Record: 1-1 Rep Power: 51788019	da da deep first glance at title I thought they were train tracks. me likey yaaaaaaaaaaay __________________ "black as midnight..black as pitch blacker than the soul of the foulest witch"

02-04-2014, 10:01 AM	#3
dead man living Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 3,467 Battle Record: 33-18 Accomplishments - Hall of Fame Champed - AOWL Season 1 - Art of Writing League - AOWL Season 4 - Write Week V - GWL Season 1 Rep Power: 77606676	they might be... __________________ Zack Wicks for president

02-04-2014, 03:28 PM	#4
Eviscerate stokely carmichael of rap Join Date: Jun 2013 Posts: 145 Rep Power: 3155071	couldn't get into this. __________________ i used to do that here..

02-04-2014, 09:46 PM	#6
Nigma The COAT... Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: BC, Canada Posts: 1,724 Battle Record: 28-20 Champed - Art of Writing League (x3) Rep Power: 4595810	i was entertained. this is like a deadman branded s&f. didn't go deep into concepts but had more imagery in those lines then most do in twice the amount. collapsing your lung line seemed a bit cliche, especially that close to the beginning of the verse, but that's the only thing that stood out to me. different sorta drop but i was diggin in __________________

02-04-2014, 11:35 PM	#7
Wise Wiggles nok Su kow Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,507 Battle Record: 1-1 Rep Power: 51788019	I liked all of this. It was different. There was splashes of wise sprinkled through out. From antisocial on was wild fire. Not sure I get the Erikson ref but I kinda get the point lol.. The end was that dope shit. If you don't like this you're a closed minded lame face. If don't like this you have a very short pepe. If you don't like this then I could ice pick your ear canal rather easily. Fav part: freedom to prosper, lead the composer, music is God insert 60's lyric here as an indulgent homage 40 ounces, basement parties, puke in garages ^ MONEY pm me sumthin to spit on __________________ "black as midnight..black as pitch blacker than the soul of the foulest witch"

02-05-2014, 04:53 PM	#9
CopyPat Mic Check Join Date: Mar 2013 Location: Calgary Alberta Canada Posts: 707 Battle Record: 13-10 Rep Power: 3742221	ha. this was different man. ur skill as a writer is off the charts, always able to word things and paint pictures incredibly and effortlessly smooth. dope. it was different to see you be a bit more aggressive, a little less sad and a little lesss giving of a fuck. even the lack of punctuation showed that, like u quickly wrote this (which i think u did) as apposed to most of ur shit which is crazy polished and looks like it took some serious time and thought. this one seemed more from the heart and just getting it off ur chest, i dug that. wording was great as usual. flow obv, originality all sick man. add another to the list. good lil post buds __________________ My syllable count approximately a billion, bounce. You cannot compete.

02-09-2014, 07:35 PM	#11
Pent uP Robin Williams of Fallen Victims Join Date: Feb 2013 Posts: 1,502 Battle Record: 25-11 Accomplishments - NC Hall of Fame Champed - Netcees Writers League (2x) - NWL Season 1 - Write Night I - Art of Writing League (2x) - Write Week IV Rep Power: 6862273	@dead man thanks for the feed