The Suicide

[Ink]

I know there aren't too many poetry heads here... But for those that are..

There was no calm before it happened.

That's the sign they tell you to look out for in school, a
sudden calm that follows the sadness.

Like the jolt of a sailboat, following a
gust of wind.

No,
if calm followed sadness,
like politics after school
shootings,

then calm would be thunder
and depression would be light.
But we
never
make that association.

So it seems to me, they've got it all wrong.
There were no signs.
And we certainly cannot make sense of this now.

We stared at her wounds for as long as we could
bare.
And could not see what was beneath them.
But that's the job of a

Band-Aid.

[Zen]

I loved the section about thunder. Great for poetry. I'm not much of a poem guy although I've tried but I can see you're talented at it but I didn't like the ending to be honest with you but this was a good piece though man. Drop some more of them poems and I'd read them for sure.

[Geno]

This had depth, that was really the only thing I enjoyed about it. I liked the spot where you said "like politics after school shootings" , that part was pretty real life.

I'm not bigg into poetry pieces because its not styled the way I prefer. But I'm not knocking it. Keep doing you

[Objective]

then calm would be thunder
and depression would be light.
But we
never
make that association.

^ Definately enjoyed this stanza.

A conscious-type of poem that does justice to the title you gave it. Kinda deep and worthy of attention to anyone who reads it, and those that should have read it probably don't. All-in-all a pretty short and honest piece. Keep it up.

[Split]

Strong metaphorical relationships. The only one that seemed alien was the politics/ school shootings, which I think was purposeful.

I liked the progression here, felt almost Bukowski like.

also enjoyed how you showed the skewed view of people in general, and it's asymmetry, and contrasted it with humanity's roots through strong, symbolic, traditional metaphors. This also gave the poem an air of nobility that shamed the general audience.

Only complaint would be that the calm precedes the sadness (opening bar) becomes the calm that follows the sadness for the rest of the poem. seems like a typo to me.

Nice avy, btw.