Nationaliesm

[Fig]

Pattern decked fabric at an altitude the lands can't reach.
Flapping in the atmospheres gasps, matching flickers of heat.
Red stripes, licorice like, increasing vanity
and Uncle Sams purple crayon set crafts mountains majesty.
Amber waves of travesty, burn morals and land
while the glare the flare produces blinds women, children and man
to every horror that stands, whether current or past;
Focused calamity through manning of a magnifying glass.
Every leaf lit, seed scorched, root rendered trash
but the bonfire that rises leaves a nation entranced.
Every thought demented, moral bent, families get thrashed
but the place cleared out for acres makes some pretty good land.
United we stand in divided states of mind, and the common man
is a titan, given party favors, a hat and an olive branch.
Knowledge scrammed over generations, liberties lollygagged,
but confetti is steady carried keeping U.S. where the party's at.

History serves as reminder for how things go downhill quick
while ours reminds us for the need of a kill switch.
Laws created under our nose, leaves us tickled with quill pens
we won't mind till the euphoria feel ends:

Risen in bed, cold sweat. Woke at crack of the slavemaster
Reminded of plight of blacks when whites, defied all their gray matter.
We're all soaking in tears of the native man seen after
the American dream bursted right through his dream catcher.
Or the small child from baghdad that cried when he bagged dad
Does he understand he's a pawn in a ploy to score black cash?
When the machine consumes it all, even those holding it up
It'll take a martyrs beating heart to get deployed and blown up in its gut.

[Fig]

test

Edit: I get a 404 error everytime I try n post links here
@Knucklehead da fuq brah?

[Geno]

This was pretty dope tbh. Thought you captured the ugly truth about what the countryies flag seems to represent anymore. Some pretty sharp details in there. Good read fig.

[zygote]

Good writing, main question is towards the title. Is the misspelling intentional? Is it a portmanteau of "nationalism" and "aliens" - e.g., some comment towards countries like U.S.A. being built by immigrants (either in past colonial days or current illegal aliens controversies). Felt that the writing lacked a sense of direction or some overall comment, it kind of jumped from comment to comment with no big comment.

[Zen]

You've been feeding the shit out of everything in the OM so props on that and here's your feed as promised. This was a good read here. Although if I had to be honest the red portion of the verse was the strongest while it seemed to fall off after it. The wording in the red section was phenomenal really.

Pattern decked fabric at an altitude the lands can't reach.
Flapping in the atmospheres gasps, matching flickers of heat.
Red stripes, licorice like, increasing vanity
and Uncle Sams purple crayon set crafts mountains majesty.
Amber waves of travesty, burn morals and land
while the glare the flare produces blinds women, children and man
to every horror that stands, whether current or past;
Focused calamity through manning of a magnifying glass.
^^This section of the red part in particular was extremely dope to me.

Very nice read about something I love to write about all the time so obviously I enjoyed this. Great read and I'm glad you're active in the OM man. Keep droppin.

[Dove Dozer]

This was well written. More poetic than rap like. I really dig these lines here man.

United we stand in divided states of mind, and the common man
is a titan, given party favors, a hat and an olive branch

History serves as reminder for how things go downhill quick
while ours reminds us for the need of a kill switch.
Laws created under our nose, leaves us tickled with quill pens
we won't mind till the euphoria feel ends

really dope piece throughout. I cant say much negative about this, technically not impressive. However that said, everything else in this was so vivid that multies, internals, and all the other jazz wasnt even in question. There was so much imagery to this piece it that its becomes pretty captivating to read.

Great stuff. I thouroughly enjoyed this here. Props dude.

[Dove Dozer]

And excuse my comment in regards to multies. Because this was littered with them. You just came smoothe enough to hide them. Theyre fluid and not forced. So it sounds natural.

Dope shit

[Just Write]

Originally Posted by Figurative

Pattern decked fabric at an altitude the lands can't reach.
Flapping in the atmospheres gasps, matching flickers of heat.
Red stripes, licorice like, increasing vanity
and Uncle Sams purple crayon set crafts mountains majesty.

i liked the color references in here. sharp stuff and a nice opener also


Amber waves of travesty, burn morals and land
while the glare the flare produces blinds women, children and man
to every horror that stands, whether current or past;
Focused calamity through manning of a magnifying glass.
Every leaf lit, seed scorched, root rendered trash
but the bonfire that rises leaves a nation entranced.

for me i interpreted this (especially the last line) as when all hell breaks loose instead of doing anything we really just stand there and stare. it's like that experiment they did, they set up cameras and acted out like a fake strangling to see if people would help or walk away and sadly majority just stood there awestruck watching.

Every thought demented, moral bent, families get thrashed
but the place cleared out for acres makes some pretty good land.
United we stand in divided states of mind, and the common man
is a titan, given party favors, a hat and an olive branch.
Knowledge scrammed over generations, liberties lollygagged,
but confetti is steady carried keeping U.S. where the party's at.

i dont really get the confetti part but the previous lines leading up to it were solid

History serves as reminder for how things go downhill quick
while ours reminds us for the need of a kill switch.
Laws created under our nose, leaves us tickled with quill pens
we won't mind till the euphoria feel ends:

i just didnt like this part at all

Risen in bed, cold sweat. Woke at crack of the slavemaster
Reminded of plight of blacks when whites, defied all their gray matter.

that was slick mah dude, i feel it

We're all soaking in tears of the native man seen after
the American dream bursted right through his dream catcher.

also i enjoyed this line.. pretty ill

Or the small child from baghdad that cried when he bagged dad
Does he understand he's a pawn in a ploy to score black cash?
When the machine consumes it all, even those holding it up
It'll take a martyrs beating heart to get deployed and blown up in its gut.

nice solid closer right here. gave this piece a somewhat ending instead of just falling off


ok so as a whole i really enjoyed this, the section in red i believe was my favorite, im glad i read this. I'll be honest i opened it and seen the different color font and backed out.. i think its hokey and personally takes away from the piece as well as the off set paragragh template, the only reason i fed was to repay the favor and after reading it i was happy i did and left somewhat impressed. now show me what else you got. stay up

[dead man]

United we stand in divided states of mind, and the common man
is a titan, given party favors, a hat and an olive branch

dope.

i really am tired of anti-US anti-government testimonials in rhyme form. shoutout to the soldier boy just-write. they're so tired and the niche is gone. they probably blew up after 9/11 for everybody doing keyboard renegade research job etc. etc. afghanistan iraq yeah we get it.

if youre so against what goes on in the governmental offices of america to the point its all you can think of when you sit down and wanna do some creative writing, vocalize your opinion, start a real life protest and change it.

otherwise stop.

BUT what you did here with the colors of the flag representing a progression of insight and perspective on the country was kinda cool. im glad you didnt try to use white color font and just went with the black.

you get originality points for your use of this seldom beaten pathway.

and the writing was pretty good. search yourself and try again tomorrow

thanks man



1

[Natural]

Bump