I wrote this today

dull boy · 04-09-2014, 07:04 PM

The Marxist. Quit from Harvard lit' to strum guitars at the park for cents.
He hums his heart and scars unstitch to drips his sick on a Barbie's lips.
He's hardly Ken. Harley Quinn's more of partner. The Arkham prince.
Guards his darkness from his Barbie/kids. Carves out parts that harbor sin.
He comes apart, 'cause parts of him that aren't so harsh are all but dim.
His charm and wit are tarnished. Missed, are his carcinogenic carbon prints.
The horror within 'em and carnal sin are what armored his partial parts from risk.

Ghost1 · 04-09-2014, 07:50 PM

U should write the rest of it......

dull boy · 04-09-2014, 08:03 PM

MAYBE I WILL

dead man · 04-09-2014, 08:15 PM

Life is ruff and your passion to express your inner conflict is a cry for someone to love you, even through your countless betrayals. Perchance, two wounded hearts will line up with Cupid's aiming bow! Maybe after that Casablanca tape runs out.

thanks

1

dull boy · 04-09-2014, 08:32 PM

Great feedback. That woman should post here.

veritas · 04-09-2014, 09:19 PM

Marxist scum.

Neighbor · 04-09-2014, 10:20 PM

Didn't like how you used "Barbie" twice, but this was good overall; scheme-wise & staying on topic

I'd read more

Dope girl · 04-10-2014, 10:23 AM

This needs a lil bit work, & work on longer bars.

Wise Wiggles · 04-10-2014, 10:26 AM

shut your cock swallowing shit hole you fucking period napkin licker

e11even · 04-10-2014, 01:29 PM

good shit. this was very clean and the flow was on point. as stated previously, it'd be great if you finished this.

04-09-2014, 07:04 PM	#1
dull boy consults Lloyd Join Date: Aug 2013 Posts: 4,075 Battle Record: 0-8 Champed -1-2 Punch League Roast Rep Power: 39345600	I wrote this today The Marxist. Quit from Harvard lit' to strum guitars at the park for cents. He hums his heart and scars unstitch to drips his sick on a Barbie's lips. He's hardly Ken. Harley Quinn's more of partner. The Arkham prince. Guards his darkness from his Barbie/kids. Carves out parts that harbor sin. He comes apart, 'cause parts of him that aren't so harsh are all but dim. His charm and wit are tarnished. Missed, are his carcinogenic carbon prints. The horror within 'em and carnal sin are what armored his partial parts from risk. Last edited by dull boy; 06-07-2014 at 11:12 AM.

04-09-2014, 08:15 PM	#4
dead man living Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 3,467 Battle Record: 33-18 Accomplishments - Hall of Fame Champed - AOWL Season 1 - Art of Writing League - AOWL Season 4 - Write Week V - GWL Season 1 Rep Power: 77606676	Life is ruff and your passion to express your inner conflict is a cry for someone to love you, even through your countless betrayals. Perchance, two wounded hearts will line up with Cupid's aiming bow! Maybe after that Casablanca tape runs out. thanks 1 __________________ Zack Wicks for president

04-09-2014, 10:20 PM	#7
Neighbor Genghis Khan Vuitton Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 3,304 Battle Record: 30-10 Accomplishments - Hall of Fame Champed - Pic Key Grand Prix - 1-2 Season 1 - Newbie Tournament II - Fight Night LXII - Fight Night XLII - Fight Night XXXIII - Fight Night XXVI - BA Swag & Flow - 1-2 Punch League (2x) - Netcees Battle League(2x) - BA Slugfest II - Fight Night of Champions - Fight Night LXXXIII - Summer Classic X Rep Power: 34764468	Didn't like how you used "Barbie" twice, but this was good overall; scheme-wise & staying on topic I'd read more __________________ Even signing my autograph’s like writing a slaughter pact

04-10-2014, 10:26 AM	#9
Wise Wiggles nok Su kow Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,507 Battle Record: 1-1 Rep Power: 51788019	shut your cock swallowing shit hole you fucking period napkin licker __________________ "black as midnight..black as pitch blacker than the soul of the foulest witch"

04-10-2014, 01:29 PM	#10
e11even V.V Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: . Posts: 2,076 Battle Record: 31-20 Rep Power: 6247256	good shit. this was very clean and the flow was on point. as stated previously, it'd be great if you finished this. __________________ Ahem.

04-09-2014, 08:03 PM	#3
dull boy consults Lloyd Join Date: Aug 2013 Posts: 4,075 Battle Record: 0-8 Champed -1-2 Punch League Roast Rep Power: 39345600	MAYBE I WILL

04-09-2014, 08:32 PM	#5
dull boy consults Lloyd Join Date: Aug 2013 Posts: 4,075 Battle Record: 0-8 Champed -1-2 Punch League Roast Rep Power: 39345600	Great feedback. That woman should post here.

04-10-2014, 10:23 AM	#8
Dope girl Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: I live in Florida Posts: 4,706 Battle Record: 3-8 Rep Power: 55521416	This needs a lil bit work, & work on longer bars.