Week 13: 13. Perpendicular (1-2) vs. 14. Certain (2-4) \\ Certain wins via no-show

Certain · 05-19-2014, 03:43 AM

Season 3

The Basics | Read the full rules here.

Verses are due Friday at 11:59 p.m. PT. THERE ARE NO EXTENSIONS.

Votes are due Sunday at 11:59 p.m. PT.

Verses may not exceed 48 lines or 650 words unless agreed upon by the opponent.

Voting on three battles is required. If you win and don't vote, you will receive a loss instead. If you lose and don't vote, you will receive a one-week suspension. Please post links to your three votes in this thread.

Topic

From Here to Eternity

Good luck, @Perpendicular and @Certain.

Perpendicular · 05-21-2014, 01:33 AM

Here to eternity

Certain · 05-23-2014, 07:33 PM

The phrasing of the phrase is framed in such a way
that the place is placed above the time, a space for us to gaze.
It's "From Here to Eternity," not "till" or something linear,
so we're going hunting till we stumble on the cusp's interior.

And we're taking the old country highway.

There's a broken-down shack on the side of the road,
used to fix tires with holes. The owner's retired.
Now what? The shack sits abandoned.
Eras melt off its slate siding, split and vandalized,
There's the old coat of gray paint
from back when gray paint was fashionable.
Back in ninteen-sixty-three, when these stains were maskable.

There's a herd of cows grazing in a field. Herd? Group?
I don't know. They stink. Turds? Poop? The word's moot:
A shit by any other name smells the same.
And even a tipped cow can't tell us if it felt the pain.

And we're taking the Interstate.

There's a sign at the exit. Repainted recently.
Bright golden arches help engage the scenery.
You can smell that fresh air — potatoes, grease and meat
— and for miles the neon buzzes with its display machinery.

There's a minivan stalled off deep in the shoulder.
Mom's calling the tow truck. Dad's trying to keep his composure.
The boys standing in back, with branches they battled.
Fake swords, all because their handhelds ran out of batteries.
But the girl, she's in the car, remembered her charger.
Presumably texting her friends about this mess of her father's.
But she smiles as she looks out at a sunset through the car door.

And we're taking the backstreets.

There's a cul-de-sac with seven houses lining its street
and in the middle is an empty fountain from the time of its peak.
Now the poor neighborhood kids play in its basin, hide-and-go-seek,
and one day realize will everything that they'd find in the heat.

There's a patio with a chair and an ashtray on the ground.
The ashtray's full. The chair is empty.
The wind whips without making a sound.
It turns the leaves, brown now. Once a perfect green.
And that alone means we haven't found Eternity.

05-19-2014, 03:43 AM	#1
Certain Mad fucking dangerous. Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 12,072 Battle Record: 40-19 Champed - AOWL Season 3 - Art of Writing League (2x) Rep Power: 85899402	Week 13: 13. Perpendicular (1-2) vs. 14. Certain (2-4) \\ Certain wins via no-show Season 3 The Basics \| Read the full rules here. Verses are due Friday at 11:59 p.m. PT. THERE ARE NO EXTENSIONS. Votes are due Sunday at 11:59 p.m. PT. Verses may not exceed 48 lines or 650 words unless agreed upon by the opponent. Voting on three battles is required. If you win and don't vote, you will receive a loss instead. If you lose and don't vote, you will receive a one-week suspension. Please post links to your three votes in this thread. Topic From Here to Eternity Good luck, @Perpendicular and @Certain. __________________ I'm just swinging swords strictly based on keyboards, unbalanced like elephants and ants on seesaws.

05-21-2014, 01:33 AM	#2
Perpendicular Running Right Through You Join Date: Apr 2014 Posts: 31 Battle Record: 1-3 Rep Power: 9647	Here to eternity

05-23-2014, 07:33 PM	#3
Certain Mad fucking dangerous. Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 12,072 Battle Record: 40-19 Champed - AOWL Season 3 - Art of Writing League (2x) Rep Power: 85899402	The phrasing of the phrase is framed in such a way that the place is placed above the time, a space for us to gaze. It's "From Here to Eternity," not "till" or something linear, so we're going hunting till we stumble on the cusp's interior. And we're taking the old country highway. There's a broken-down shack on the side of the road, used to fix tires with holes. The owner's retired. Now what? The shack sits abandoned. Eras melt off its slate siding, split and vandalized, There's the old coat of gray paint from back when gray paint was fashionable. Back in ninteen-sixty-three, when these stains were maskable. There's a herd of cows grazing in a field. Herd? Group? I don't know. They stink. Turds? Poop? The word's moot: A shit by any other name smells the same. And even a tipped cow can't tell us if it felt the pain. And we're taking the Interstate. There's a sign at the exit. Repainted recently. Bright golden arches help engage the scenery. You can smell that fresh air — potatoes, grease and meat — and for miles the neon buzzes with its display machinery. There's a minivan stalled off deep in the shoulder. Mom's calling the tow truck. Dad's trying to keep his composure. The boys standing in back, with branches they battled. Fake swords, all because their handhelds ran out of batteries. But the girl, she's in the car, remembered her charger. Presumably texting her friends about this mess of her father's. But she smiles as she looks out at a sunset through the car door. And we're taking the backstreets. There's a cul-de-sac with seven houses lining its street and in the middle is an empty fountain from the time of its peak. Now the poor neighborhood kids play in its basin, hide-and-go-seek, and one day realize will everything that they'd find in the heat. There's a patio with a chair and an ashtray on the ground. The ashtray's full. The chair is empty. The wind whips without making a sound. It turns the leaves, brown now. Once a perfect green. And that alone means we haven't found Eternity.