quick keystyle...no fear...

Rojo187 · 07-03-2013, 01:33 AM

Quick lil keystyle...

Been soooo long...

...have I rediscover the passion, typing words to the point where I moving the masses?
Peep the motive of a mad man fueling the maddess...jim jones on the throne pouring booze in ya glasses
Got it all mapped out like I'm viewing an atlas..fuck the world but ya girl I can do it for practice....
Heart blacker than blacksmith put the blame on the bastards...created a monster then see who tried to tame him the fastest
Swelled up, ballooned bit the hand of the master...no fail safe mechanism like that didn't matter?
Hack the head of the Shepard then the sheep will scatter...fear turn men mutes but the teeth will chatter
Beggin me to cease and desist pleadin the 5th...I ***kle loudly squeezing ya neck increasing the strength
No remorse for the unrepentant..only discord and horror for them fucking bitches
Ima rebel that revel in debauchery done damaged democracies made mockeries of utter hypocrisy
And I didn't stop a thing and I'll never will tho...said I lack nerves so feelings I never feel those
Pull rank in fake wars Sgt bilko...but everyone a hero when they letting the casket lid close..
Cemeteries turn to concrete gardens...I'll till the soil but the reaper does the watering
Fair warning but all fell on deaf ears...chills down the spine...thinking that's Deaths near
Accepting peers? That appears to be deceptive...so the boy instilling fear in these cowards till they respect it ....

YDK · 07-03-2013, 01:43 AM

Decent shit good flow but fell off a lil bit but not bad

Rojo187 · 07-03-2013, 01:51 AM

yea thanks for the input...I can see how you would think that...reading it out loud to me isn't like how the reader may read it...Lol that's why I came back...

Good feed my boy

Just Write · 07-03-2013, 10:59 AM

this was pretty dope, had some nice concepts and for me, when I read it out loud it flowed off pretty smooth. the structure kinda threw me off as you were putting the whole pars in one line with the ... break but I think that just reflects personal style. anyways man, yea i liked this. keep writing, thanks for feeding that collab too. as far as my verse, I don't think I have battled before lol. maybe i should try. peace

CopyPat · 07-03-2013, 01:03 PM

u know how to flow.. u got ur bars and everything for the right length etc for audio which is good. this wasn't horrible by any means, but nothing really crazy here either man. was kinda just boring to me to be honest. nothing really stood out? you know? no hate, just think u could add a little more spunk to this

07-03-2013, 01:33 AM	#1
Rojo187 Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 208 Champed The Hunt for Cane VII Rep Power: 37	quick keystyle...no fear... Quick lil keystyle... Been soooo long... ...have I rediscover the passion, typing words to the point where I moving the masses? Peep the motive of a mad man fueling the maddess...jim jones on the throne pouring booze in ya glasses Got it all mapped out like I'm viewing an atlas..fuck the world but ya girl I can do it for practice.... Heart blacker than blacksmith put the blame on the bastards...created a monster then see who tried to tame him the fastest Swelled up, ballooned bit the hand of the master...no fail safe mechanism like that didn't matter? Hack the head of the Shepard then the sheep will scatter...fear turn men mutes but the teeth will chatter Beggin me to cease and desist pleadin the 5th...I ***kle loudly squeezing ya neck increasing the strength No remorse for the unrepentant..only discord and horror for them fucking bitches Ima rebel that revel in debauchery done damaged democracies made mockeries of utter hypocrisy And I didn't stop a thing and I'll never will tho...said I lack nerves so feelings I never feel those Pull rank in fake wars Sgt bilko...but everyone a hero when they letting the casket lid close.. Cemeteries turn to concrete gardens...I'll till the soil but the reaper does the watering Fair warning but all fell on deaf ears...chills down the spine...thinking that's Deaths near Accepting peers? That appears to be deceptive...so the boy instilling fear in these cowards till they respect it ....

07-03-2013, 01:43 AM	#2
YDK ghost in the matrix Join Date: Apr 2013 Location: Covington, KY Posts: 4,563 Battle Record: 14-25 Champed - Art of Writing League (x2) - Lime Green Poetry Association Rep Power: 8181113	Decent shit good flow but fell off a lil bit but not bad __________________

07-03-2013, 10:59 AM	#4
Just Write Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2013 Posts: 1,709 Battle Record: 9-12 Rep Power: 4997617	this was pretty dope, had some nice concepts and for me, when I read it out loud it flowed off pretty smooth. the structure kinda threw me off as you were putting the whole pars in one line with the ... break but I think that just reflects personal style. anyways man, yea i liked this. keep writing, thanks for feeding that collab too. as far as my verse, I don't think I have battled before lol. maybe i should try. peace __________________

07-03-2013, 01:51 AM	#3
Rojo187 Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 208 Champed The Hunt for Cane VII Rep Power: 37	yea thanks for the input...I can see how you would think that...reading it out loud to me isn't like how the reader may read it...Lol that's why I came back... Good feed my boy

07-03-2013, 01:03 PM	#5
CopyPat Mic Check Join Date: Mar 2013 Location: Calgary Alberta Canada Posts: 708 Battle Record: 13-10 Rep Power: 3742225	u know how to flow.. u got ur bars and everything for the right length etc for audio which is good. this wasn't horrible by any means, but nothing really crazy here either man. was kinda just boring to me to be honest. nothing really stood out? you know? no hate, just think u could add a little more spunk to this