Week 8 1-2 Magazine by Meth (9/5/2014)

[Meth]

Ayo. Last week was a great week in the league. A lot of really cool battles and even some upsets occurred. The champ match was good, the contenders match was good, some of the lower carded battles were solid as well. There are a lot of big names in this league right now including former NBL champion Muff, former 1-2 champion (along with a plethora of other tournaments) Allen Knight, former GBL champion and 1-2 champion Destroyer. As well as, BROKE LESNAR, are current champion being a finalist of the summer classic. Our less proven battlers include, the last AOWL champion Certain, as well as some mid tier battlers with potential like Jilti. Overall there is just a lot of diversity, and creativity in the league right now. *Wipes Mouth* Shall we move on?

Meth's Song of the Week





Jilti vs. Destroyer

Not the best battle. Both have come with so much better. This battle went the wrong way, in my opinion. Yes, Destroyer had a concept similarly used against Jilti days prior. However, I just didn't think Jilti's made sense. Design is a 2 syllable word, where as des eyein would be 3. Where is the extra syllable coming from. I understand accents and vernacular coming into play, but you can't just jam an extra syllable in a word and call it good wordplay. But, that's just one's man opinion. Jilti took this one.

Kin vs. Roar

Not the best battle here. Kin used a very simple concept, and executed it at a solid level. Roar used a broke, kin/broken wordplay. Wasn't a huge fan. Broken has the one k sound, where broke kin has 2 different points where the k is heard... - English Professor Meth. nah but for real was just too forced for my taste. The voters apparently felt the same as me and that Kin came better as he takes the W here.

YDK vs. BROKE LESNAR

The battle for capital name supremacy. This was a solid battle here. YDK went with the personal, which I'm not sure was a great idea knowing broke would probably go personal as well. Usually you don't want to match personal with personal against BROKE. He decided to go with the personal play and a np on me... Meth. Obviously, all Meth based bars seem redundant to me after 3 years of this being my name. Broke went for the pen with the personal about YDK's book which I totally forgot about. He had a very clever line involving the bible, sandwiches and court trials that took him to victory.

MKG vs. Certain

Another ok battle here. MKG went with a punch about the corner back from southern cal. He had a really good concept here but it just wasn't executed very well at all. He could have very well won this battle had his wording not been clumsy and his wordplay not forced. Certain went with the MKG - Michael Kid Gilchrist. It had to happen eventually right? His was executed much better and was just a better overall punch.

Defiant vs. Muff

Seen a lot better from both of these guys to be honest. Defiant had a very simple straight forward personal about how Muff has never taken a snapper with a woman before. Obviously stemming from Bags harassment over Muff involving this fact. Muff went with a forced-ish name play. At least it was a fresh concept. Neither executed their bars very well, but Muff had the better idea and that won this battle for him.

Notebook vs. Camp Bell

There a 3 very important steps on how to write a good 1-2 punch.

Step 1: Rhyme.

Ok stop right there my dude Notebook forgot about step one. He had a decent line, still. Clever and worded very poorly. Camp Bell didn't have near as creative as a line. As he just went with the tough notebook/notebook name play. It worked though. His was worded solidly, and did enough damage to win him the battle.

KnowP vs. Meth

KnowP had a pretty cool line in this one. Unfortunately, it was quite simple. Certain probably put it best, when he was doing exactly as I was being accused of in the punch. I went with a generic fat line name play that I thought was pretty fresh. Never seen it used against any one before so I used it. Apparently everyone agreed with me and thought it was fresh/clever and I picked up the win.

Blanco Bishop vs. Allen Knight

Allen Knight dropped a late, and what looked to be, quickly written punch as he was past the deadline. Bishop was a good sport, and let it go open for votes. Allen's bar was a generic girl/abroad wordplay which has been done to death. I'd rather see a played line than a no show though, so it's no big deal. Blanco had a pretty clever personal including Allen's dirty work on Gamble's profile that hit pretty well. Could have been much better with good wording, but he still took this one down.

Windu Tuako vs. RudeBoy

RudeBoy's line was heading way up until he for no reason forced the reason sky into his punch to make it connect at a name play level. Unfortunately for him, the sky being added randomly made little to no sense in context to the punch, other than making it star wars based. Tuako had a very poorly worded, but clever wrestling reference which was indeed quite funny. Junkyard Dog is goat.


Meth's Song of the Week (That makes more sense to post on a hip-hop board)





Championship Match: BROKE LESNAR vs. Meth

I obviously hold a bit of a special interest in this one here. Hopefully, for my, and the league's sake this battle is a good one. Last time me and BROKE faced off we both forgot about out battle and had a compliment battler instead, which BROKE won because he likes me more than I like him :). This one should be different. We have both only suffered one loss so far in this league. His being to Swerve, mine being to Broke. I'm sure Broke wants to hold onto his belt, as much as I want to take it away. Broke also holds the advantage in being a master of the personals, and since I have many on the board to use, I'm sure he's licking his briefcase... I mean chops.

Broke 60/40

Contendership Match: Jilti vs. Camp Bell

This will be another solid battle. Jilti, from what I've seen has a lot of creativity to be shown in his concepts. Sometimes though they are forced or are worded very akwardly, which hurts him. Camp Bell likes to come direct and his wording very much shows that, he also doesn't lack in the creative department. I think Camp Bell will execute his punch better though, so I edge it to him.

Camp Bell 55/45

YDK vs. KnowP

In what very well could have been this week's championship match, we have a battle that will decide one of the contestant's on next weeks contender's match. YDK uses simplicity and humor to win his battles, where as know p goes for the old fashioned wordplays and generic concepts to win his. In a 10 line battle I'd edge knowp, but people seem to love ydk's style, so he gets the odds.

YDK 60/40

Unfukwitable vs. Certain

Certain's capitilized punches are on a tear as he has not lost yet. I'm pretty sure he posted already but I really don't feel like reading it yet. Unfuk has some potential in his lines but his wording is usually on the poorer side of things, which causes his solid ideas to flatline in battle. Unless he improves on that, I see Certain Serpent getting the win here.

Certain 65/35

Blanco Bishop vs. Detroyer

Destroyer should very well be in a contender's match this week based on points, but you shouldn't be placed into one following a loss. So in the biggest point differential battle of the week, Des takes on Blanco. Bishop has a very good showing last week against Allen Knight coming away with the victory. To win this week he'll need not only a good concept but good wording and execution as well barring a last second key like Allen provided. Des should win this. He's lost 2 in a row but both of those were close, and he probably should have one last week's in my opinion.

Destroyer 75/25

Kin vs. Roar vs. MKG

Yeah I know Kin and Roar just faced but it happens. Kin has some solid ideas but his wording is very corny and costs him connectivity in his punches. Roar, on the other side of the spectrum has some corny or forced concepts holding him back. MKG, while only seeing one bar ever from the guy, shows potential but needs to not force his concepts, while still making them stand out and show power. I think Kin will take this based on him having the best concepts and decent enough execution to finish them.

Kin 50/25/25

Notebook vs. Muff

Notebook, going off last week, has some good ideas and poor ways to make them work. Hopefully, he at least rhymes this week. Although, with not much room to talk from Muff, who just 2 weeks ago rhymed the same words, can also use some help in that area. Muff is the more experienced better writer here, but has like had 4 battles since 2009 it seems like. He still seems rusty to me. He seems to force his lines. The 1-2 punch seems to bring out punches and concepts you would see people scrap in a regular verse and it's just odd to me. Anyway, Muff should/will win.

Muff 90/10

Defiant vs. RudeBoy

RudeBoy had a good idea last week that he ended up butchering in my eyes due to over eagerness to make the punch connect in all ways, but just ended up adding non sense that didn't really make sense. Defiant had a very simple punch. One of those simple punches should win this battle for him, though.

Defiant 80/20

Allen Knight vs. Windu Tuako

Allen Knight really should win this lol. Tuako has some potential but he quotes his concepts. Which is dumb. Like, we get it bro. You don't need to hold our hand. As long as Allen doesn't wait until he's out partying drunk to write his he'll win.

Allen Knight 95/5

Meth Presents! The 50/50 Game

An idea originally thought of by @Sn00p, I deeemed it needed to be brought back.

The rules, if you can call them that, are simple. A link will be provided, with 2 options of what it might be. You click the link you lose, you don't I do. Here goes it.

Bacon Wrapped Pig or A Pig Clutching Bacon


Joan Rivers Nude or Body Floating in River

Gay Spongebob or Sandy Cheeks Shaking

Girl ran over by a train or Train ran on a girl

Kid's legs cut off by Neo-Nazi's or 2 girls making out

2 Girls shitting in a cup or 2 girls puking in each others mouths

2 Hot girls or 1 REALLY hot girl

Santa Claus and Rudolph being naughty or Santa in a skirt

Outro

That was it! Hope you enjoyed! See ya!

[YDK]

i lost the game

[Window Taco]

Good mag man lol.

[Camp Bell]

i didnt click a link and i wanna play but the "rules" seem
vague. thanks for the nod bro, great mag.

[KnowP]

word some pretty good battles last week. especially the champ match. good mag mayne.

[BROKE LESNAR]

Awesome mag, bro.

[YDK]

Fuck you broke
Ima eat your children

[Blanco Bishop]

Des going to love his favorite voter's bar.


Fuck u meth.


That is all.

[Roar]

Nice mag

[Blanco Bishop]

Originally Posted by YDK

Fuck you broke
Ima eat your children

Pause.